Friday, December 4, 2009

My Miscarriage Story

This is what I posted during my miscarriage on one of my favorite online boards. This post was written during/after the actual miscarriage...
I started spotting at about 8 pm last night. I called the dr's emergency number even though I knew the dr probably can't do much of anything. Of course he told me what I already knew... some spotting is normal, relax, drink lots of fluids & come in tomorrow morning if you want for an u/s to check everything out. So I went to bed but woke up at 11:30 pm with a backache. Shortly after that went to pee & it was like the bottom fell out... I poured blood.

Warning, may be TMI, may be gory, & may be painful to anyone who has had a m/c... I think I had the baby in the toilet! I passed something kinda large. I tried to look but the toilet was filled with blood so I'm not really sure.

There's no way a baby can survive all this blood. Going to the dr (whenever they open this morning) to confirm what I fear/believe... will update later.

Update (we just got back from the hospital):
I tried & tried to hold out till 8 am this morning so I could go to the dr's office & NOT the ER but... the pain got so bad that I couldn't take it anymore so off to the ER we went early this morning at 5 am. Once I got there they gave me some good drugs that killed the pain, did an u/s & saw that no baby was there. They only saw some conception items, I believe is what he called it... basically part of the placenta & other tissues so we did a D&C to remove the remaining stuff & stop the bleeding. While in the ER, before the D&C, I was bleeding everywhere... they gave me fluids b/c I was bleeding heavily as one of the nurses put it. I feel very good now (physically). Thankfully, I'm not in pain & feel pretty normal.

Emotionally, I'm not too sure... I'm numb. I'm not sure it has really hit me or maybe it's just that I'm not letting it hit me. DH said I'm doing very well... better than he thought I would. I've teared up a few times but haven't really broken down yet. I'm sure it's coming though.

Anyway, thank you for all your thoughts & prayers... hey, that may be the reason I haven't broken down (all the prayers are working to give me some sort of peace possibly). Regardless, I know that I am in the palm of Jesus' hand & He is watching over me & is working to prosper me, not to harm me... no matter the circumstances or my understanding of why this happened. I'll be okay in Him.

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