Sunday, June 12, 2011

Sharing... for the glory of God!

I have been so reserved about this possible adoption... part of me wanting to share & shout to the world just what God has & is doing but at the same time part of me wants to hold back out of respect for the family's privacy & if I'm honest with myself, out of fear as well (fear of the "what ifs" as well as fear of putting the most vulnerable parts of my heart out there for the whole world to read).

But after reading a post on one of my favorite blogs, God's Faithfulness Through Infertility: for the glory of God, I have decided to share, for the glory of God. I know that no matter what, God is in control & if these children are meant to be ours God will move the mountains that may be standing in our way & these children WILL be ours but if, for whatever reason, they don't become ours then they were never really ours to begin with.

I probably don't need to tell you the fact that DHR will have to come into our home is somewhat nerve-racking for me but I am trusting in God & God alone.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
~ Psalm 46:1

I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
~ Psalm 91:2

I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
~ Psalm 121:1-2
I don't know why it is so scary for me considering I've seen God's mighty work in this infertility journey... free injectables, the crib (that is now converted into a toddler bed ) , the fact that I even got pregnant when I did is a miracle & then I went on to ovulate with no medical assistance at all even though we didn't get pregnant (which I fully believe we didn't get pregnant because He called us to adopt).

Remembering His faithfulness in the past does make it easier though I do have to constantly remind myself:
God is in control, not DHR. God is in control, not DHR.
Don't be afraid, just believe. Don't be afraid, just believe.
God's word tells us over & over, "Fear Not," but it is obviously such a normal human emotion. I am choosing to give all my fears over to Him & trust Him daily which of course is not always easy since we seem to always want to control everything (especially me, being a type A personality). We don't control anything, as I am learning in this journey. Any control we seem to have is only an illusion because we aren't in control, God is; which is really better anyway. If I were in control I'm sure I'd screw it all up.

Last but not least I wanted to share some meaningful quotes from a recent devotion a friend shared with me. Love.Serve.Shine: The Pretzel Solution:
God will provide a lamb. It is well within the nature of God to allow our circumstances to reach a place of utter hopelessness, so that He might provide the hope. What we deem impossible, He calls simple. Time after time, Scripture paints a picture of God providing the perfect solution at the perfect time. The common denominator? Simple faith in a great God.

Do your circumstances look insurmountable? Stop looking around and look up. Trust that the One who brought you to the fire will walk you through it. Not sure what tomorrow holds? The One who holds tomorrow whispers, Fear not. I walk before you, beside you and behind you. I will tell you when to go and when to rest. I will carry you and see you through. Trust in Me with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).
This particular devotion is based on some very special scripture for me. If you remember from an earlier post, R&R at Fort Walton Beach, you'll remember how Genesis 22 speaks to me about God providing children. And then the next day (after reading Love.Serve.Shine.) I find an awesome video on the exact same scripture:

I know He's speaking to me saying, "Trust me, I've got this" so I'm going to hold my head up high & trust Him & Him alone to pull me through this, one way or another. Why? Because my God is faithful!
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
~ Psalm 118:6