Tomorrow is our first RE appt! And you probably know that I am emotionally done!!! I quit & I'm getting out of the Lord's way so that He can work a miracle. Please pray for guidance & strength as I hand it all over to God. Guidance especially for my husband, Mike, b/c I've been praying that the Lord please speak to him & guide him to know what to do & whatever he (Mike) decides I am going to follow as hard as it may be (I mean is he going to want to move forward or take a few months off or even just quite completely... I honestly don't know ).
Oh & Mike doesn't know this, actually. I just don't want to add that kind of pressure on him. Well, he doesn't know unless he is reading my blog, which I kinda doubt!
I just feel like I have had blinders on & have been charging full steam ahead trying to get pregnant & just feel like I need to step back & wait on the Lord so that's why from now on, trying to conceive decisions are Mike's & the Lord will have to work a miracle. I am kinda getting to the point that I don't care anymore... well, I think I care less & less each day b/c infertility is so emotionally draining. I love that we are doing the pregnancy loss Bible study online & have even thought about trying to organize it at church & even inviting other churches. I don't know, since the miscarriage I have really wanted to reach out to other miscarriage & pregnancy loss survivors, ya know. I also thought this might be a way to just get my mind off of trying to conceive.
Will update after the appt!
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