Thursday, July 29, 2010

My first injection & other (sad) news!

Tuesday's appt went well. Everything looked good & there were no cysts in sight so we were given the go ahead to start injections. We also ordered the remainder of my meds & my other supplies Tuesday & they were delivered yesterday. Wow, just wow!

Praise the Lord that my meds are affordable! That has probably been my biggest fear when I was first referred to the RE but the Lord has worked it out & our insurance is paying for A LOT of it. Don't get me wrong, without this insurance, it would most definitely cost an arm & a leg but praise the Lord for providing.

So my first injection was tonight & it actually went really well. It didn't hurt or even sting at all! Woo-hoo! Oh & I did my own shot, thank you very much! I'm pretty proud of myself. I didn't hem haw around, much. I did pause a minute & had to tell myself that I'm a big girl & CAN do this!

The hardest part was definitely just trying to figure out how many mL to draw up into the syringe to give me the 150 IUs I needed but we figured it out! I'm definately going to go with the pen & catridges next time if there is a next time, which there won't be, by the way. I'm believing that this once will be all I need! Anyway, with the pen, all I have to do is dial up the IUs I need & inject... it's THAT easy. The only reason we're doing vials is b/c if you remember, I got free Follistim (Answered Prayer), which happen to be vials.

The supplies...

Our next monitoring appt is next Tuesday at 9:30 am, after 5 days of meds. We'll be doing another ultrasound to check my follies to see how I'm responding to the Follistim.

And now for the sad news...

Mike's puppy (well, actually really really old dog, Gina, who was ~ 15 years old) died overnight Monday night. Not sure of what but she was obviously not feeling well Monday night & when we checked on her Tuesday morning, she was gone! We're going to miss her. She was a wonderful, sweet, beautiful dog & good friend. She was literally Mike's baby... they were both very attached to each other... it was really sweet & priceless. We love you, G, & will miss you always! ♥

Monday, July 26, 2010

Here we go...

Well, AF showed last night so I called the RE this morning to get my first injectable cycle underway. My 1st appt is tomorrow at 10:30 am to do some bloodwork & an ultrasound.

For anyone who does not know what an injectable cycle is like, here is a summary of my "instructions" from the RE:

  1. Call to schedule a baseline ultrasound, which will be performed on cycle day 2, 3, or 4 to determine if there are ovarian cysts prior to starting injections.
  2. If the ultrasound is normal, begin injections on day 4 & continue several days before being monitored again.
  3. For the next monitoring appt (usually around day 9), I get to have another ultrasound performed & a blood test (estradiol level). Dosage may be adjusted depending on my response to the meds.
  4. Hopefully (unless something unforseen happens), continue injections & return to the RE for monitoring over the next 1-3 days until my follicles are mature & ready for ovulation.
  5. When my follies are mature, I get to take my final injection of HCG (aka my trigger shot).
  6. No IUI so we get to skip this instruction on my instruction sheet.
  7. No strenuous activity. I am allowed to take Tylenol but avoid medications such as Anaprox (never heard of this one LOL), Advil, or Motrin.
  8. 2 weeks after the HCG shot I can take a pg test if AF is a no show!

I kinda wish AF wouldn't have showed b/c I definitely would rather not do injectables but I am excited to see what this cycle holds. I know the Lord is with me & I can't wait to see how He answers my prayers. No matter what, I'm trusting Him.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I've been so emotional lately...

and not to mention, crying a lot and I'm not even on any kind of medication YET!

So this morning in our small group Bible study class (my Life group as our church calls them), our study leader asked if Mike & I minded if the group prayed over us, which of course, we said of course we don't mind. It was so sweet & so unexpected & what is most ironic is I remember talking to Mike back in Dec/Jan about possibly asking the Life group to do this but I NEVER actually mentioned it to our group. I have asked for their prayers but never asked them to pray over us like that. Our leader just felt led to do it today. Needless to say, I shed a few tears. It just really touched my heart & was so incredibly sweet & unexpected. I know the Lord is in this & I'm trusting Him. I know He has a plan... no matter the outcome. Praise You Lord; praise Your Holy Name!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
~ Proverbs 3:5-6
So if that weren't bad enough I teared up a bit during several worship songs (In Your Presence, Still) this morning as well. It's funny but just knowing that I am about to TTC again next cycle, I am just so much more emotional lately. I'm going to hate to see my emotions next cycle when I'm actually taking the medication!

I would also like to share some scriptures that, just in the past week, have been meaningful to me:

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
~ Philippians 4:19

He will supply the finances we need to have this baby. He has already supplied much of the medication needed. (From the devotional, How Bid Is God?)

Therefore I will look unto the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.
~ Micah 7:7
This verse describes this entire 6 month break for me. He HAS heard me & look at everything He has already provided. Thank you Lord. (From the devotional, God's Provisions)

I am so very blessed!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I was blog surfing last night & ran across this poem & I must admit, it touched me to the core. So much so that I was in tears...

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "you can always adopt," or "things happen for a reason", or the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me!

These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life? It's hard to understand that people can't see infertility for what it is -- a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get back up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, and create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I hope I haven't let him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known. While I would never choose infertility for anyone, I can't deny that a more fertile woman could ever know the joy that awaits me.

Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know..."

~ Anonymous

Saturday, July 3, 2010

RE appt update

The appt went really well. Actually I could be doing injectibles RIGHT NOW (which I honestly was not expecting) if it weren't for a procedure that I had done yesterday!

Actually I haven't mentioned it on here but... due to a family history of colon cancer (my mom & her father (my grandfather)) my new family dr REALLY wanted me to do a colonoscopy before getting pregnant so I thought this week (Friday) would be perfect timing. Well, it came back mostly clear... they did find a small polyp which they removed & sent to the lab to determine if it would have turned into colon cancer or not. I should know something in about 2 weeks. Regardless though, it's better that I remove it now before it possibly turns into cancer than to wait a few years, after I have a baby, when it has possibly already turned into cancer.

So back to trying to conceive & the RE appt... right now it is a "go" for next cycle (of course there is a possible business trip in August that Mike might have to go on (we're still not sure yet) that can push our first injectible cycle back some ). I could be pregnant in less than a month!

I just know this is gonna work. It has too... if it doesn't this journey might be quickly coming to an end. We can't afford to do many injectible cycles... I don't think. But the one thing I can say is that the Lord is faithful... I got pregnant last year despite all this, He's given me free Follistim, He's given me little encouraging gifts & acts of faithfulness along the way (some I have mentioned on here (my nightgown, R&R in Fort Walton) & some I haven't (providing financially when we need it most)).

Please pray that this works... specifically that I get pregnant on my first round of injectibles. Last year, when I got pregnant with Clomid our church prayed for us THAT cycle & we got pregnant THAT cycle. And Clomid has not worked since, even at a higher dose (What I Believe He is Teaching Me Right Now). I honestly believe that the prayers did it. So please pray... I need all the prayers I can get.