CD 9 ultrasound & bloodwork update

So everything looked pretty good this morning according to the nurse... my ovary & uterus lining are responding as they should thus far. My estradiol level came back 310 & I have 1 follicle that is 14 mm (& several other smaller ones) though they like to them them closer to 16 mm so we still have some growing to do. So I am to continue 150 IUs of Follistim for 3 more days & go back Friday at 8:45 am to see how things are looking & hopefully to get the go ahead to trigger.

No side effects at all except one... tons & tons of EWCM & abnormally early in my cycle (I usually start seeing it around day 12 or 13 but this cycle I started seeing it around day 8 or 9). I hope this is a good sign!

I'm not sure why but this morning, leaving the dr's office, I just felt kinda down in the dumps... maybe it was b/c it took an hour to get back to get my ultrasound done & then when I did get back there I just felt like the nurse didn't talk/explain much of anything... I had to ask specifically what was going on or she wasn't going to tell me (all she had started to say was "Everything looks pretty good" & she was going to leave it at that adding that they'd call me to tell me what the dr said), maybe it is just the emotional toll of trying to conceive with medical assistance, maybe it's b/c I'm going to have to order MORE Follistim which of course costs more money (which if they would have just ordered extra with my last order it would have been cheaper for me with my insurance coverage), maybe it's that I have a mandatory homeschooling meeting Friday that now we are going to have to figure out (I'm hoping that my appt won't last as long & I can get out in time to get Austin there or else Mike is just going to have to carry him). Why do I let these feelings invade the way they do? Maybe it is Satan attacking my faith. No matter what though I will praise Him through the storm. This song says it all...

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
~ Romans 8:28

Lord, please carry me through this - I need you now more than ever. I can't do this in my own strength; I'm tired & weary. I'm putting it all in your hands & trusting you, no matter what. I love you & praise your holy name!