tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74536141941214694532023-11-16T06:23:32.592-06:00Galatians 4:22-23"For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by the slave woman and the other by the free woman. His son by the slave woman was born in the ordinary way; but his son by the free woman was born as the result of a promise."
This blog is my journey to receive my promise... the child I know that the Lord will provide.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.comBlogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-22079947104297455062012-04-17T22:09:00.005-05:002012-04-17T22:23:24.349-05:00Blessed Beyond Measure<div><div><div><p>Copied from my FB status this morning...</p><blockquote>You know as I sit here trying to focus on my upcoming mission trip & everything I have to do & take care of as well as my responsibilities with an infertility support group I lead, Abbie & Charlie come in here & interrupt me with a song & dance they wanted their *Mama* to hear/see. After 5.5 years of crying, begging, & praying that the Lord would open my womb & allow us to conceive & finally have a baby, He did so much more... He brought us Abbie & Charlie. He answered our prayers but not in the way that I wanted at the time but He answered them with so much MORE, more than I could have ever imagined. I am so in love with these 2 little miracles of life & I couldn't imagine my life without them. Thank you Lord & Praise your HOLY name. I love you so much. And to those who are still waiting on their miracles, know I still think of you often & He IS faithful. I am just feeling so blessed right now.</blockquote><p>And I am sooooooooooo bad at posting pics... Sorry! <a href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="width: 20px; height: 20px; cursor: pointer;" border="0" alt="" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" /></a> I do want to eventually post some pics from Christmas & Easter though. <a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img style="width: 19px; height: 19px; cursor: pointer;" border="0" alt="" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif" /></span></a></p><p><span style="font-size:78%;"> </span></p><img style="border: 0px currentColor;" align="left" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" /><br /></div></div></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-58518356881501503582012-01-16T19:50:00.004-06:002012-01-16T20:19:33.323-06:00Happy would-be 2nd birthday, sweet child o' mine!<div><div><div>I can't believe I could have a 2 year old, a 3 year old, & a 4 year old right now but in all honesty I probably wouldn't have my beautiful 3 & 4 year olds if we wouldn't have had a miscarriage like we did (I don't know that we would have been open to adoption had we had our precious miracle baby 2 years ago). I, of course, miss my baby but I, in no way, regret the events that happened. I have the most precious 3 & 4 year olds in the world plus my would-be 2 year old is in heaven, happy as can be, with Jesus, & doesn't even have a care in the world. She is the blessed one here. <a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"><img style="width: 19px; height: 19px; cursor: pointer;" border="0" alt="" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif" /></a><a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"></a><a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"></a> <a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"></a> </div><div> </div><div>So in memory of my precious angel baby who we barely even know I wanted to post a few quotes:</div><div> </div><div><blockquote>"Thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, with which I'll never part. God has you in His keeping, I have you in my heart."<br />~ Author unknown (copied from a friend's wall on FB)<br /> </blockquote></div><div><blockquote>"There is a sacredness in tears.<br />They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.<br />They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues.<br />They are messengers of overwhelming grief,<br />of deep contrition and of unspeakable love."<br />~ Washington Irving</blockquote><p> </p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">In memory of Chloe Elizabeth*</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Estimated due date, January 16, 2010</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Date of loss, July 1, 2009</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2009/12/remembering-my-sweet-angel_04.html">Remembering My Sweet Angel</a></span></p><p><span style="font-size:78%;"><span>* Yes, I know we named her Chris but that was before I really started feeling/believing that it was a she & not a he. Chris is gender neutral but Chris just never really felt right... Chloe Elizabeth was the name chosen while we were pregnant for a girl.</span></span><br /><br /><img style="border: 0pt currentColor;" align="left" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" /><br /></p></div></div></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-79240529397446072512011-12-18T21:14:00.010-06:002011-12-18T21:50:38.446-06:00ScripturesI've really been meaning to post these for a while now (probably since August) but I just haven't gotten around to it until now. <a href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> I think I'm posting them now because I really need a reminder of His promises & His faithfulness. I know I have to lean on Him & Him alone through every trial & heartache.<br /><p>Anyway, this is a list of scriptures that I have compiled along this TTC/Infertility/Adoption journey. I hope they speak to you as well.<br /></p><p><br /></p><p></p><p></p><blockquote><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Infertility/TTC/Adoption Journey Scriptures</span><br /></span></div><br />"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."<br />~ John 14:18<br /><br />"Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies."<br />~ Romans 8:23<br /><br />"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will."<br />~ Ephesians 1:4-5<br /><br /><div style="mso-element:para-border-div;border:none;border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt:solid windowtext .75pt;padding:0in 0in 1.0pt 0in"> </div> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> </p>“For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by the slave woman and the other by the free woman. His son by the slave woman was born in the ordinary way; but his son by the free woman was born as the result of a promise.”<br />~ Galatians 4:22-23<br /><br />“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”<br />~ Hebrews 11:1<br /><br />“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is <span style="font-weight: bold;">faithful</span>.”<br />~ Hebrews 10:23<br /><br />"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today…The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."<br />~ Exodus 14:13-14<br /><br />"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."<br />~ 1 Corinthians 2:9<br /><br />“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”<br />~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10<br /><br />“We constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith.”<br />~ 2 Thessalonians 1:11<br /><br />“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”<br />~ Romans 8:28<br /><br />“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”<br />~ Proverbs 3:5-6<br /><br />“But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”<br />~ Philippians 4:19<br /><br />“Therefore I will look unto the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.”<br />~ Micah 7:7<br /><br />“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”<br />~ Jeremiah 29:11<br /><br />“Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.”<br />~ Isaiah 40:31<br /><br />“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but <span style="font-weight: bold;">when </span>the desire comes, it is a tree of life.”<br />~ Proverbs 13:12<br /><br />“His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.’”<br />~ John 9:2-3<br /><br />"A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps."<br />~ Proverbs 16:9<br /><br />“And I declared that the dead, who had already died, are happier than the living, who are still alive. But better than both is he who has not yet been, who has not seen the evil that is done under the sun.”<br />- Ecclesiastes 4:2-3<br /><br />“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”<br />~ Joshua 1:9<br /><br />“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”<br />~ Matthew 7:7<br /><br />“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”<br />~ Hebrews 13:5<br /><br />“My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”<br />~ Psalm 106:1<br /><br />“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”<br />~ Colossians 3:2<br /><br />“With God all things are possible.”<br />~ Matthew 19:26<br /><br />“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”<br />~ Jeremiah 29:13<br /><br />“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”<br />~ Isaiah 41:10<br /><br />“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”<br />~ Philippians 4:6-7<br /><br />"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment."<br />~ 1 Timothy 6:17<br /><br />“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”<br />~ Hebrews 10:35-36<br /><br />“For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal & it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay.”<br />~ Habakkuk 2:3<br /><br />“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”<br />~ 1 Peter 5:7<br /><br />“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod & staff, they comfort me.”<br />~ Psalm 23:4<br /><br />“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”<br />~ Phillipians 4:13<br /><br />“Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. <span style="font-weight: bold;">For the battle is not yours, but God’s. </span> You will not have to fight this battle. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Take up your positions; stand firm & see the deliverance the Lord will give you</span>, O Judah & Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, & the Lord will be with you.”<br />~ 2 Chronicles 20:15, 17<br /><br />“Give thanks to the Lord, for his love endures forever.”<br />~ 2 Chronicles 20:21<br /><br />“If God is for us, who can be against us?”<br />~ Romans 8:31<br /><br />“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”<br />~ Matthew 17:20<br /><br />“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.”<br />~ Psalm 34:17<br /><br />“The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.”<br />~ Psalm 145:18-19<br /><br />“The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”<br />~ Deuteronomy 31:8<br /><br />“Don’t be afraid; just believe.”<br />~ Mark 5:36<br /><br /><div style="mso-element:para-border-div;border:none;border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt:solid windowtext .75pt;padding:0in 0in 1.0pt 0in"> </div><br />“Do NOT fear the storms! I have already won this battle for you! All you have to do now is obey. Rest in me. I will strengthen you. I will uphold you by my strong right hand. Endure. I am with you.”<br />~ Rebecca Carrell (Love.Serve.Shine, Today’s Daily Bread ~ Run Harder!)<br /><br />"When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."<br />~ Author Unknown<br /><br />"Be assured that if God makes you wait longer than you wish, it is only to make the blessing all the more precious."<br />~ Author Unknown<br /><br />"Live every day to fulfill your personal mission. God has a reason for whatever season you are living through right now. A season of loss or blessing? A season of activity or hibernation? A season of growth or incubation? You may think you're on a detour, but God knows the best way for you to reach your destination."<br />~ Barbara Johnson<br /><br />"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."<br />~ Thomas A. Edison<br /><br />"We must discipline ourselves to place confidence in His decision to give us the information we need to successfully accomplish the step we are on in the journey."<br />~Priscilla Shirer (Jonah study)<br /><br />"Victory is sweetest when you have known defeat."<br />~ Malcolm Forbes<br /></blockquote><p><img style="border:0;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-69021074498600361842011-11-20T18:45:00.003-06:002011-11-20T19:06:57.651-06:00Our First Halloween!!!I know it's a little late but I've been sooooooooo busy just playing with & being "Mommy" to my 2 beautiful babies & my 1 handsome young gentleman. <a href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><p>My little frog prince...</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC02762.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 282px; height: 624px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC02762.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>My little witch...</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC02774.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 284px; height: 594px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC02774.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>Abbie got mad at her brother & turned him into a frog! LOL<br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC02776.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 282px; height: 355px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC02776.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>And last but not least, my hobo...</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC02787.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 282px; height: 488px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC02787.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC02805.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 283px; height: 479px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC02805.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p><img style="border:0;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-22802728420088327292011-08-21T22:22:00.002-05:002011-08-21T22:27:37.976-05:00Long time no see... um, write I mean! =)Sorry I haven't updated my blog in so long but soooooooooo much has been going on.
<br />
<br />God is good... all the time! They're ours!!! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 19px; height: 19px;" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> After 5.5 years of infertility & many, many prayers for a baby God has blessed us with 2 beautiful toddlers (Charlie, 2, & Abbie, 3). It was May 22nd that we were first approached about possibly fostering/adopting these 2 children (<a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2011/05/news.html">News!!!</a>) & on June 21st we became their legal guardians. We actually brought them home on Thurs, June 23rd, & I'm telling you I can't get ANYTHING done unless they are asleep. <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy004.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 16px; height: 16px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy004.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> It was like BAM & their ours... it all happened so fast & there was a definite period of adjustment in there. So we are their parents for as long as God allows... we are guardians which means their parents still have rights & could actually petition the court for them at any time unless we hire a lawyer to discuss possible adoption.<p>God is soooooooooooo good & sooooooooooo faithful & He has really taken a horrible situation & has done something really beautiful with it, not to mention that He brought 2 completely unrelated families together to become one family... I love this family so much; as if they were my own. But still please remember the family in your prayers & these children who just lost the only mother they have ever really known about 2 months ago. Their grandmother died Sat night, June 25th.<span class="emote_text"> </span><a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sad047.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sad047.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><span class="emote_text"> The children are doing well... I honestly think they are too young to really comprehend what's going on.</span></p><p>I do have to add that the home visit went really well... I fully believe that the reason it went as well as it did was because God was/is in this. Though I don't want to sugar coat it, the home study was emotionally difficult on me... if I wasn't fully committed to the Lord & HIS will above my own, I would have quit right then & there - that's how difficult it was on me but I KNOW God knows better than me & I fully trust Him so I will follow Him no matter what. I have actually seen God literally move mountains over the past 2 months. And now that they are here, I LOVE these 2 precious babies so so much. I can't imagine my life without them & I hope I never have to.
<br /></p><p>Oh & remember my post about my fears & why I felt adoption wasn't a good option for us, <a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2010/10/2nd-injectables-cycle-re-follow-up-appt.html">2nd injectables cycle RE follow-up appt update</a>... well, Rex is a big baby with them. I was so scared & for no real reason at all. He is AMAZING with those children. Yeah, he did bark in the beginning but now they hug, kiss, pet, & play with him ALL THE TIME & he loves them just as much as they love him!!! Praise the Lord because it was Him & Him alone that moved sooooooooooooo many mountains to bring these wonderful, beautiful children into our lives. <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p></p> <p></p><p> </p><p>And can I add that God is teaching me so much about Himself through these little children. I once heard Beth Moore talk about how love comes from God first & when we feel like telling Him we love Him we should really say, "I love you too" because it came from Him first. <a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 19px; height: 19px;" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> Anyway, I tell Abbie & Charlie, "I love you," like 100 times a day. Okay not really 100 times a day but I tell them A LOT. And then a week or 2 AFTER I started telling them soooooooo much that I love them, I caught Charlie telling everyone he loves them. <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> Not <span style="font-style: italic;">exactly </span>the same but it just reminds me of what Beth Moore said anyway.
<br /></p><p>And the other thing that I have heavily reflected on since God has blessed us with their care is just how beautiful & perfect these children are in my eyes (beautiful eyes, hair, noses, ears, toes, lips... you name it & I LOVE it). I can't imagine just how much God loves us if I love these children as much as I do. And I know God thinks the same way (only times 10!) about us... we are beautiful to Him, imperfections & all. <a href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>
<br /></p><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">And now my beautiful babies...
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<br />Brother & sisterly love! <a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 19px; height: 19px;" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>
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<br />Being silly before church!
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<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><blockquote>For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him.
<br />~ 1 Samuel 1:27</blockquote></div><a href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09949.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 402px; height: 523px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09949.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>
<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><blockquote>He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD.
<br />~ Psalm 113:9
<br /></blockquote></div>Thank you Lord!!! You have blessed me beyond measure!
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<br />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-30092068507682797662011-06-12T22:31:00.002-05:002011-06-12T22:48:18.646-05:00Sharing... for the glory of God!I have been so reserved about this possible adoption... part of me wanting to share & shout to the world just what God has & is doing but at the same time part of me wants to hold back out of respect for the family's privacy & if I'm honest with myself, out of fear as well (fear of the "what ifs" as well as fear of putting the most vulnerable parts of my heart out there for the whole world to read). <a href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><p>But after reading a post on one of my favorite blogs, <a href="http://www.faithfullyinfertile.com/2011/06/for-the-glory-of-god/">God's Faithfulness Through Infertility: for the glory of God</a>, I have decided to share, for the glory of God. I know that no matter what, God is in control & if these children are meant to be ours God will move the mountains that may be standing in our way & these children WILL be ours but if, for whatever reason, they don't become ours then they were never really ours to begin with.<br /></p><p>I probably don't need to tell you the fact that DHR will have to come into our home is somewhat nerve-racking for me but I am trusting in God & God alone.</p><p></p><blockquote>God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.<br />~ Psalm 46:1<br /><br />I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”<br />~ Psalm 91:2<br /><br />I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? <span style="font-weight: bold;">My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.</span><br />~ Psalm 121:1-2<br /></blockquote>I don't know why it is so scary for me considering I've seen God's mighty work in this infertility journey... free injectables, the crib (that is now converted into a toddler bed <a href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/winking/winking0006.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/winking/winking0006.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>) , the fact that I even got pregnant when I did is a miracle & then I went on to ovulate with no medical assistance at all even though we didn't get pregnant (which I fully believe we didn't get pregnant because He called us to adopt).<br /><br />Remembering His faithfulness in the past does make it easier though I do have to constantly remind myself:<br /><blockquote>God is in control, not DHR. God is in control, not DHR.<br />Don't be afraid, just believe. Don't be afraid, just believe.</blockquote>God's word tells us over & over, "Fear Not," but it is obviously such a normal human emotion. I am choosing to give all my fears over to Him & trust Him daily which of course is not always easy since we seem to always want to control everything (especially me, being a type A personality). We don't control anything, as I am learning in this journey. Any control we seem to have is only an illusion because we aren't in control, God is; which is really better anyway. If I were in control I'm sure I'd screw it all up.<br /><br />Last but not least I wanted to share some meaningful quotes from a recent devotion a friend shared with me. <a href="http://www.loveserveshine.com/todays-daily-bread-the-pretzel-solution/">Love.Serve.Shine: The Pretzel Solution</a>: <blockquote><span jsid="text">God will provide a lamb. It is well within the nature of God to allow our circumstances to reach a place of utter hopelessness, so that He might provide the hope. What we deem impossible, He calls simple. Time after time, Scripture paints a picture of God providing the perfect solution at the perfect time. The common denominator? Simple faith in a great God.<br /><br /></span><span jsid="text">Do your circumstances look insurmountable? Stop looking around and look up. Trust that the One who brought you to the fire will walk you through it. Not sure what tomorrow holds? The One who holds tomorrow whispers, Fear not. I walk befo<span class="text_exposed_hide"></span><span class="text_exposed_show">re you, beside you and behind you. I will tell you when to go and when to rest. I will carry you and see you through. Trust in Me with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).</span></span><br /></blockquote>This particular devotion is based on some very special scripture for me. If you remember from an earlier post, <a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2010/06/r-at-fort-walton-beach.html">R&R at Fort Walton Beach</a>, you'll remember how Genesis 22 speaks to me about God providing children. And then the next day (after reading Love.Serve.Shine.) I find an awesome video on the exact same scripture:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4j-PP3-iXsA" allowfullscreen="" width="425" frameborder="0" height="344"></iframe><br /></div><br />I know He's speaking to me saying, "<span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Trust me, I've got this</span>" so I'm going to hold my head up high & trust Him & Him alone to pull me through this, one way or another. Why? Because my God is faithful! <a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 19px; height: 19px;" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><blockquote>The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?<br />~ Psalm 118:6<br /></blockquote> <p><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-37570175407442259372011-05-24T19:01:00.003-05:002011-05-24T19:12:21.575-05:00News!!!Someone approached us Sunday, May 22nd, at church about possibly fostering/adopting 2 children: a boy, 2, & a girl, 3... both have birthdays in August. Their grandmother (current guardian) is dying of cancer <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sad047.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sad047.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> & these children need a home when it happens. The family wants a Christian family for these 2 precious children & approached me after hearing that we were considering adoption. Oh & can I share HOW she heard we were considering adoption... it was a direct result of the Jonah study that I just finished (I wrote about starting the study here... <a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2011/01/5-years.html">5 years</a>). I shared my belief that the Lord wanted us to adopt at the beginning of the study & apparently this opportunity presents itself at the end of the study (we <span style="font-style: italic;">just </span>finished the study a few weeks ago).<p>Anyway, Mike & I have thought & prayed about it & yesterday we contacted the lady who I spoke with Sunday to tell her that we are interested. Now we have to contact DHR & go from there. We aren't home study approved yet but I'm sure we will figure it all out. I have MAJOR cleaning to do this week. <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked006.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked006.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> I'm terrified & excited & even have a lot of peace, knowing God <span style="font-weight: bold;">is </span>in this & we are one step closer to the child or <span style="font-style: italic;">children </span>He promised!!! <a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 19px; height: 19px;" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> To God be the glory!!! </p><p>And then this morning's devotional was based on one of my favorite scriptures, Jeremiah 29:11, "<span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">'For I know the plans I have for you.' Declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'</span>" (<a href="http://narrowroadtravels.com/fearnt24.aspx">http://narrowroadtravels.com/fearnt24.aspx</a>). It was just so special! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>I can't believe this could be it but I am also so sad for these children. Their world is falling apart... the only real mother they have ever known is dying. Please pray for everyone involved... the grandmother, all the other family, but especially the children; and of course us as we embark on a new chapter in our lives. </p><p>Praise You, Lord! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-80895268744772687552011-05-11T16:49:00.001-05:002011-05-21T19:27:21.884-05:00Positive Affirmation!I will have a baby! The end! <a href="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Some background... Monday night at a Prayer Ministry meeting at church I got to talking to our Prayer Ministry leader & we talked about a verse that God gave me THAT day that I really feel is <span style="font-style: italic;">my </span>verse; the verse He gave me to come to when this road feels too tough...<br /><blockquote>"Don't be afraid; just believe." ~ Mark 5:36</blockquote>Anyway, we got to talking about positive affirmation & how I need to believe that I <span style="font-weight: bold;">will </span>have a baby so this is a phrase I am going to start repeating to myself (out loud) every morning over my crib that the Lord so graciously provided a few months ago (<a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2011/02/gods-perfect-timing.html">God's Perfect Timing</a>). I'm repeating this out loud b/c as Beth Moore says, there's power in spoken words & as I have heard many times, faith comes from <span style="font-style: italic;">hearing </span>God's Word (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%2010:17&version=NKJV">Romans 10:17</a>) & through faith we can literally move mountains:<br /><blockquote><span class="woj" style="">"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."<br />~ Matthew 17:20</span><br /></blockquote>Anyway, then yesterday, as I started to catch up on some of the blogs I follow, one of my favorite blogs had a 2 part post speaking about almost the exact same thing... Pearls & Grace: Decree a Thing <a href="http://pearlsandgrace.blogspot.com/2011/04/decree-thing-part-one.html">{Part 1}</a> & <a href="http://pearlsandgrace.blogspot.com/2011/04/decree-thing-part-two.html">{Part 2}</a>. So I am going to start speaking these things (among others) over our family...<br /><ul><li>I will have a baby (whether by conception or adoption).</li><li>I decree and declare that my womb is blessed and that I am able to conceive, carry and deliver healthy and whole full term babies. (borrowed from Pearls & Grace) </li></ul>Last but not least, I never really shared anything more, though I said I would in my last post. What I was hoping to share is my feeling led toward fostering & I (personally) still do feel led more toward fostering than domestic adoption at this point (of course I'm not sure how/what Mike is feeling right now concerning adoption/fostering) but I never came back because the next few days/weeks were so emotional & hard for me, I just couldn't share my heart at that point in time. <a href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><p><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-86797040570961454602011-04-15T20:25:00.007-05:002011-04-15T20:50:16.375-05:00Run Harder!<p>A friend told me to go read Love.Serve.Shine's Daily Bread today & it really, really spoke to me so I wanted to share (I hope to share a little bit more about WHY it spoke to me so much tomorrow)...</p><p></p><blockquote><p><strong>Colossians 1:11 – We also pray that you will be strengthened with His glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father, who has enabled you to share the inheritance that belongs to God’s holy people, who live in the light.</strong></p> <p>One of my closest girlfriends says that God speaks to her in the tub. When she’s wrestling with something, she locks herself in, draws a hot bath, and just soaks. Perhaps it’s because she’s so relaxed, perhaps it’s the quiet, but regardless, that is where she best hears the voice of the Holy Spirit.</p> <p>God speaks to <em>me</em> when I run. Anytime I’m feeling worried, anxious, or <em>off</em>, I’ll strap on my shoes and hit the pavement. No headphones. No particular destination; just me and the road. After about two miles or so I’ll usually start to get a sense of what I need to do.</p> <p>Wednesday was as close to a perfect spring day that you’ll ever get in North Texas; Sunshine, low-80s and light wind. So when the kids and I had finished our errands, we loaded up the stroller and off we went.</p> <p>We ran our usual route then hit our usual park. The kids played while I caught my breath and soaked up the sun. After an hour or so, we headed home.</p> <p><em>Should I run or walk, </em>I asked myself. The kids were hungry and so was I, so I sped up.</p> <p>The wind had strengthened significantly, and it was an up-hill road all the way back. Just as I was about to slow down, I heard Him. <em>“Run harder,”</em> He whispered.</p> <p>With those two words, I instantly saw the metaphor. When you hit a hill in life, <em>keep climbing.</em> When the wind is against you, <em>keep going.</em> When life tries to slow you down, <em>run harder.</em></p> <p><strong>2 Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.</strong></p> <p>My love affair for running started my senior year in high school, when I went out for the track team. <span id="more-1933"></span>My dad, also a runner (10 marathons under his belt), would often tell me, “You’ve got to get out of your comfort zone, Rebecca! If you’re not hurting, you’re not working.”</p> <p>Our coach pushed us ruthlessly. Race up a hill, jog down, repeat. Race up, jog down, repeat. Fartlek runs were the worst: run one minute as hard as you can, jog one minute. Run two minutes as hard as you can, jog two minutes. All the way up to five minutes, then back down again. I can remember lungs screaming and muscles crying and <em>still</em> pushing on. </p> <p>By the end of the season I’d shaved over two minutes off my timed mile. I’d incorporated healthy eating habits. I’d added some tone to my legs and a spring to my step. I felt <em>strong.</em></p> <p><strong>John 16:33 – “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth <span style="text-decoration: underline;">you will have many trials and sorrows.</span> But take heart, because I have overcome the world</strong> (emphasis mine)<strong>.</strong></p> <p>The International Standard Version translates that verse this way: <strong>“but be courageous – I have overcome the world!”</strong> The King James Version says, <strong>“but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” </strong>The word used in the original Greek is tharseó (thar-seh’-o), and means “<em>I am of good courage, good cheer, am bold.</em>” When used in the New Testament, it refers to <em>God bolstering the believer</em>, empowering them with a <em>bold inner-attitude</em>. It is inner courage that is the result of the Lord <em>in</em>fusing His strength us.* <span style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);">Simply put, Jesus is saying, </span><span style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);"><em>“Do NOT fear the storms! I have already won this battle for you! All you have to do now is obey. Rest in me. I will strengthen you. I will uphold you by my strong right hand. Endure. I am with you.”</em></span></p> <p>If we could see this world and its storms from a Heavenly perspective, would we fear them so much? If we truly recognized that this life is but a breath, and then we live forever in Christ, would we mourn so much? If we lived in the mindset that this world, and all that is in it is fading away, would we worry so much? Or would we see a storm, roll up our sleeves and press on with ever increasing determination, knowing that <em>this</em> is where we are strengthened. </p> <p><strong>Isaiah 40:31 – But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.</strong></p> <p><span style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);">God is beckoning us out of our comfort zone. When the hill looks too big, run harder. When the wind is against you, push through. When the waves crash around you, step out of the boat. With Jesus by your side, you w<em>ill</em> walk on water.</span></p> <p>Dear Heavenly Father, thank You so much for the Bible, Your Word. Thank you for the inspired words of Paul and the life-changing teachings of Jesus. Strengthen us, Father. Through Christ we can do all things. Through Christ we are more than conquerors. Help us to remember this, write it on our hearts! Help us to <em>live</em> in the victory that has already been won. God, the only thing Satan has over us is fear. Help us to let it go. When we can navigate through life knowing that You will see us through the storms, he has nothing to bind us with. For those of us in difficult times, please comfort us. Please help us to remember that the best is yet to come. Please help us to shine Your light through the dark, so that we might show the lost the way home. We thank You for Your Son, God, and the magnificent, horrific work on the cross that sealed our salvation. It is in the precious, beautiful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, that we pray. Amen.</p> <p><a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/greek/2293.htm" target="_blank">* definition and notes courtesy of The Online Parallel Bible</a></p></blockquote><a href="http://www.loveserveshine.com/todays-daily-bread-run-harder/">http://www.loveserveshine.com/todays-daily-bread-run-harder/</a><br /><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /><p></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-14807797112744244792011-03-31T09:24:00.005-05:002011-03-31T17:35:12.146-05:00God even controls the Internet!!! =)Seriously, He does!!!<br /><p>So Monday night, I actually went over to a friend's house after the infertility support group & then didn't get home till 1:30 am! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked006.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked006.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> So when I woke up waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too early Tuesday morning, at 7 am, I decided to skip my 1 hour daily Bible study that I do first thing EVERY morning & instead do a shorter devotional from a recent web site that a friend introduced me to (<a href="http://www.loveserveshine.com/">Love.Serve.Shine</a>). The site's "Daily Bread" is awesome & is actually what I wanted to do as my quiet time Tuesday morning but alas, the Lord had other plans! <a href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> When I tried to go to the website, I kept getting a "server not found" error. I tried every way I knew how to get to the web site b/c I <span style="font-style: italic;">really </span>wanted to read the "Daily Bread" but it just was NOT happening so I was a little frustrated & thought about what I could do/use as my quiet time. Then it came to me... we did a devotional on fear a while back in the infertility support group I mentioned previously (<a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2010/03/hannahs-friends.html">Hannah's Friends</a>) so I decided to check out the next devotional study in that series instead.<br /></p><p>It was okay but what really grabbed me was when I decided to look ahead & see what the future lessons looked like. Part 5 was based around a scripture that my friend who I had just seen hours before had shared with me. She said that when she read several passages from 2 Chronicles 20 she just thought about me...</p><blockquote>Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you.<br />~ 2 Chronicles 20:15, 17</blockquote>And here's the actual devotional lesson that is centered around this scripture...<br /><br /><blockquote><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fear Not</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Learning to fear less in a fearful world</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">by Jennifer Wennekamp</span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Scripture Reading:</span> <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20chronicles%2020&version=NIV1984">2 Chronicles 20</a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Key Scripture:</span> You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’ ” 2 Chronicles 20:17 NIV<br /><br />This week our topic is that we do not need to be afraid because God will fight for us. <span style="font-style: italic;">We need to realize that there are going to be times when we are approaching a fight that our job will only be to get ready for the fight, but God will take over from there.</span> It seems so often that we want to be in control. We want to control all the situations we are in and so sometimes we think we have to do all the fighting or we will not get what we want, when we want, how we want. We forget to factor God into the equation. We often don’t even want to let God in on the process until we are at our wits end and feel that we have to give up.<br /><br />In Deuteronomy 3:22 it says- “Ye shall not fear them: for the Lord your God shall fight for you.” And I really like it in 2 Chronicles 20:17 “But you will not even need to fight, Take your positions; stand still and watch the salvation of the Lord with you. O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out there tomorrow, for the Lord is with you.” God will fight for us. In fact often the fight isn’t even ours. In 2 Chronicles it says that the battle was God’s. The people were going through the battle, but it was God’s battle and he was going to make sure they got through it. He does not want us to fight a fight that he knows we can not win. If we try to fight the fight on our own we may not win, but God can fight it so we do win. Sometimes there are fights we go through that we lose, but the Bible says there is no temptation that has taken us that he has not made a way out of. We can win any battle we are in with his help, but if we do not turn to him, focus on him, and follow his wisdom we may not win the battles. So if we are doing our part He is there and present to fight the fight for us when it is necessary.<br /><br />Sometimes it is necessary in life for us to let our kids go through their own fights. Some of the fights that our kids deal with, help them to grow. If we see our kids in a fight we may observe the situation and see if it is something the can handle and will help them grow and so we let them go ahead and deal with it. Other times we look and see that they are in over their head, or that there is something in that fight that we do not want them to experience and so we go in and take over the fight. That is how God is with us. Sometimes he steps in and takes over for us to protect us or even to remind us of his wonderful love.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">There have been several times in my life that I felt that God has called me to do something, but I could not see how in the world it was going to happen. I would start to get a little fearful thinking that I had to make it work out because I knew God had spoken to me about it, and I was afraid if I didn’t push and push that it wouldn’t happen. I would believe God called me to do the thing, but not think about letting God be the one to work it out. Then at these times I would finally come to the point where I realized that I had taken the steps that I could, and that I couldn’t do any more. If it was going to happen, God would be the one that would have to make it work. </span>Sometimes that is just how it is.<br /><br />Even though God will fight for us we can not allow ourselves to get to the place where we allow this promise to make us lazy. We can not just sit back and say “This is God’s fight so I don’t have to do any work.” That is not what 2 Chronicles 20 says at all. God told them that they should still take up their positions. <span style="font-style: italic;">We still need to take our positions. We still need to start taking the steps that are necessary to win our battle, and then as we are in position God can open those doors necessary to win our battle. He can bring the right people in our path when we are ready to meet them, those divine connections that he has set in place for us. But we have to be ready for it when those instances come. If God has a divine connection for us, but we haven’t taken the steps to be ready when it arrives then we will not be able to do what God wants us to do. We can not be like the man that is on his roof in a flood and he cries out to God asking God to save him, but as the man sits there a row boat rows by and asks him to come in his boat, the man says “no, God is going to save me.” Then a helicopter flies by and they try to rescue him and he says, “no, God is going to save me.” Then the man dies and he asks God, why didn’t you save me? And God tells him I sent the rowboat and the helicopter, but you wouldn’t get in. God will fight for us and make a way- he will send us the rowboats and the helicopters when we need them, but we need to be willing to get in.</span><br /><br />We need to remember Isaiah 1:19 that says “If you are willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land.” We must be willing to do our part, whatever our part is. Sometimes our part will just be the preparation and sometimes our part will be getting in there and fighting a good fight, but we must be obedient and willing to do whichever one God is leading us to at that time. When we come to a place where we feel we can’t do anything else, that may be a sign that we are trying to do all the fighting and not let God do any of the fighting for us. When fear starts to creep in when you are facing a trial, take a step back and pray asking God what you are supposed to do, and be quick to stop and let God handle the fight if he asks you to.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Confession/Prayer</span>: Father God, We pray and thank you for fighting for us. Thank you that help us to win the battles that we are in. Help us to be sensitive to our part in the battles, and to recognize the times that we need to just stand still and let you fight. Help us to rest in you and give you glory in everything that you do for us. In Jesus Name, Amen</blockquote>(<a href="http://narrowroadtravels.com/fearnotpt5.aspx">http://narrowroadtravels.com/fearnotpt5.aspx</a>)<br /><br />And what's even funnier, after reading this devotional, I went back just to see if I could get onto the Love.Serve.Shine site & I could, no problems at all! God used a divine intervention to navigate me to this set of devotionals so that He could speak directly to me. It can be & is so exciting to be walking with the Lord daily!<br /><br />So, what is He saying to me? How does this apply to me? This (adoption) is God's battle, not mine. I have to do everything *I* can to put myself in the position to adopt when He calls but once I have done what I can do I need to let go & let God fight this battle for me. There is only so much I can do. Only God can speak to both Mike & I, bringing us to the same page on adoption. Only God can fight the supernatural things that might be going on that I don't even know are out there. Only God can set up those divine connections & I just need to be in a position to be ready to accept them when they come.<br /><br />Reminds me of one of my absolute favorite songs in the world...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/_DEBMXNwa0M" allowfullscreen="" width="425" frameborder="0" height="344"></iframe><br /></div><br />As you can tell, I really love music. It just really speaks to me & this song is one of those really special songs to me.<br /><p>And I thought it was going to be quiet around here! LOL <a href="http://www.thescubasite.com/smile/happy/happy0195.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 40px; height: 18px;" src="http://www.thescubasite.com/smile/happy/happy0195.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-62415070641616510532011-03-29T21:55:00.004-05:002011-03-29T22:12:48.198-05:00God is in Control!Last night, at an infertility support group that I am a part of we talked about the story of Joseph & how God is in control, no matter the circumstances or how things appear:<br /><blockquote>God is in control, not our husbands.<br />God is in control, not our children or parents.<br />God is in control, not our doctors.<br />God is in control, not our boss.<br />God is in control, not a terrorist.<br />God is in control, not <span style="font-weight: bold;">infertility</span>.</blockquote>(<a href="http://www.christianbook.com/embracing-gods-design-for-your-life/sheila-walsh/9781418532253/pd/532253?item_code=WW&netp_id=619945&event=ESRCN&view=details">Embracing God’s Design for Your Life</a>, pg 120)<br /><br />This particular study really spoke to me & I really feel like I can relate to Joseph so much. Like Joseph (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2037-42&version=NIV1984">Genesis 37-42</a>), by all outward appearances my dreams are being "shattered" by infertility but in reality, I know that like Joseph, God is placing me in the position to fulfill my dreams & His perfect will for my life. I think I can understand how Joseph must must have felt... the pain, the hopelessness, the despair, the fear at various times along his journey.<br /><br />For those that don't know the story of Joseph... his brothers threw him in a well b/c they hated him & then sold him to merchants. Then in Egypt, just when things start looking up again & he's blessed by the Lord, he's thrown in jail based on LIES of a seductive woman! For 10 years, Joseph was either a slave or in jail. Can you imagine what kind of things & questions might have crossed his mind during that time? I imagine that he just doesn’t understand what in the world is going on & wants to know “WHY?” He’s doing everything that God would want him to... he’s not giving into temptation, he’s being godly, he’s doing everything right & he’s being punished – “WHY?” Honestly this is how I have felt at times during my infertility struggle. I sometimes think that if I could just see the end of this road maybe it would be easier for me to get through the “here & now.”<br /><br />But this story is a reminder that all this <span style="font-style: italic;">really </span>happened to place Joseph EXACTLY where he needed to be so that God could make his dreams & the Lord's perfect plan come true. And this actually goes for me as well. <a href="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><blockquote>It is clear that no human being can destroy what God has purposed. While Joseph was in the waiting period of more than 10 long years, God was preparing him to serve. And Joseph cooperated.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Joseph could have sat around in despair for years wondering where things went wrong, but he didn’t. Instead, wherever he was, he used his God-given abilities to serve the people around him.</span></blockquote>(Embracing God’s Design for Your Life, pg 118)<br /><br />God is in control & is placing me exactly where I need to be to fulfill His perfect plan for my life & until that day comes, I will serve & praise Him. Reminds me of the John Waller song, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XazqArchgR8&feature=player_embedded">While I'm Waiting</a>. <a href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><blockquote>I can do all this through him who gives me strength.<br />~ Philippians 4:13<br /><br />Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.<br />~ Romans 5:3-5<br /><br />You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.<br />~ Genesis 50:20 (part of the story of Joseph)<br /><br />I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.<br />He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.<br />The LORD watches over you—the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.<br />The LORD will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.<br />~ Psalm 121</blockquote>Oh & then on my way home last night I heard a new song about God being in control. <a href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> It just kinda "jumped" out at me, especially considering we JUST talked about God being in control just a few minutes before this song came on...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/qt8MpHbE-3c" allowfullscreen="" width="425" frameborder="0" height="344"></iframe><br /></div><br />The 2nd verse is AWESOME!!! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> And let me tell you... God is sooooooo in control! I'll share another story later!<br /><p><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-82633798174430142962011-03-27T15:25:00.004-05:002011-03-27T15:39:38.748-05:00FaithI think God has really been focusing on building my faith since it seems that "faith" has been a recurrent theme in my life lately...<p>For my birthday a good friend gave me one of the sweetest birthday present's ever, a photo album with one of my all time favorite verses, Hebrews 11:1. </p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09896.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 265px; height: 333px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09896.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>Isn't it absolutely beautiful & just the perfect shade of *baby* green?! <a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 19px; height: 19px;" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> I've decided that I'm gonna save this album & use it as my newborn photo album of our baby whenever the Lord so blesses us! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> </p><p>And then just a few days later (on March 17th) my other best friend bought me 3 decorative flower pots - Faith, Hope, & Love! But the story she tells is that when she walked in to this particular store, she saw the Faith pot clear across the store. That particular pot caught her eye & she HAD to get it. It was only when she got closer that she also grabbed the Hope & Love pots as well since the 3 just go together! <a href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09898.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 399px; height: 194px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09898.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>These are decorative pots & apparently, aren't meant to hold real plants (there's no drain hole in the bottom) but after my friend & I talked a little about faith (how you plant a little seed of faith in your heart & then care for & nurture it for it to grow) now I want to come up with a way to use them to grow real flowers. I'm bound & determined to do this & already have a few ideas up my sleeve! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy004.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/winking/winking0006.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy004.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 16px; height: 16px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy004.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> If you do have any ideas as well, please share (all ideas welcomed & appreciated <a href="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>).<br /></p><p>And then just a few days after that (March 19th), when I was watching Beth Moore on LIFE Today, guess what she was speaking on?! FAITH!!! I <span style="font-style: italic;">know </span>He's preparing me for the journey ahead. I even took notes (which I typically don't do) & the one note that I took that really stood out was... <span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">"There will be plenty of opportunity to doubt & fear & disbelieve -> It's got to to appear as if this one is NOT going to come through - that is exactly when you have an opportunity to have a story that turns itself into a song."</span><br /><br />Here's the entire video of Beth Moore, for your viewing pleasure... <a href="http://lifetoday.org/video/a-story-fit-for-a-song/">A Story Fit For a Song</a>. I'm so excited to be walking this journey with the Lord! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>And a few days after THAT, I heard a new song for the first time. I know it doesn't really speak about faith per se but it is such an AWESOME song & it really just speaks to me so much that I had to include it here as well...</p><p style="text-align: center;"><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/emgv-VRtMEU" width="425" frameborder="0" height="344"></iframe><br /></p><p>Wow, that the Lord would speak to me the way He does simply amazes me sometimes! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-73652373462212294912011-03-26T12:24:00.008-05:002011-03-26T12:58:48.926-05:00The wait is over!AF is here (after being 5 days late no less <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked006.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked006.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>)! I was hoping that maybe *she* would stay away but alas! <a href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> So we *should* be going back to the RE for stronger meds (Follistim + Menopur + Ganirelix) but I do have an announcement...<p><span>Meds are over... I'm done with trying to conceive with medical assistance</span> (& it feels soooooooooo good <a href="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>)! After the lap, you just can't tell me that I can't get pregnant. I can & I will <span style="font-weight: bold;">if </span>it's the Lord's will. AND the biggest announcement: I really feel like the Lord is calling us to adopt. <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> Hubby isn't quite on the same page as me but I KNOW that if this is truly the Lord's will (as I believe it is) He will speak to Mike & bring Mike on board as well so I'm not toooooooo worried! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy004.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 16px; height: 16px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy004.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> I'll admit, I wish I could say that we were moving forward with adoption but right now we are in the "considering" stage.<br /></p><p>We've actually already met with an agency... we attended an "information meeting" but I didn't really get the information I wanted from the meeting so I'm going to schedule an individual appointment with them & talk one on one. I did like them over all (though I knew I would), mostly because they are Christ-centered & this particular agency does offer at least one definite advantage over others... you don't lose your money if one adoption falls through, you can just transfer it to another adoption program within the organization. As they explained it, it's a ministry & they <span style="font-style: italic;">want </span>to place children in loving, Christian homes.</p><p>If you're interested, below is the story of just <span style="font-style: italic;">how </span>the Lord spoke to me & started changing my heart, opening it to adoption (& I do have to add that this is an AWESOME story, in my opinion anyway <a href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>)...</p><p>Tuesday (Jan 18th) night, a friend on Facebook shared a <a href="http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1485923767659&id=1820872223&ref=notif&notif_t=like#%21/video/video.php?v=1072196159062&comments">video</a> made by this girl who was adopted. It really moved me (& I even got teary-eyed) & I noticed in particular the verse she shared at the end of the video...<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></p><blockquote><span>"I will not leave you as <span style="font-weight: bold;">orphans</span>; I will come to you." </span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />~ John 14:18</span></blockquote>So then Wednesday morning during Austin's Science class (we homeschool) we often read scriptures with our Science book. One particular scripture really jumped out at me...<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><blockquote><span>"Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our <span style="font-weight: bold;">adoption </span>to sonship, the redemption of our bodies." </span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />~ Romans 8:23</span></blockquote>It was funny b/c in the back of my mind I thought, "<span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Hmmmm... I wonder if I'll hear another 'adoption' scripture tomorrow.</span>" But again, I just kinda passed it off & went on about my day not thinking about it again.<br /><br />THEN Thursday, again during Science class, we were trucking along (almost at the end of class) & all of a sudden I thought, "<span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Hey, I haven't heard another 'adoption scripture' yet.</span>" The VERY next verse Austin read in science was...<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><blockquote><span>"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight." </span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />~ Ephesians 1:4</span></blockquote>And this scripture really jumped out at me. And it, I felt, was my "adoption" scripture (even though as you'll notice adoption isn't mentioned outright).<br /><br />Anyway, so I wanted to mark these in my Bible & when I get to Ephesians guess what <span style="font-style: italic;">Ephesians 1:5</span> goes on to say...<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><blockquote><span>"In love he predestined us for <span style="font-weight: bold;">adoption </span>to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will."</span></blockquote>At this point I KNEW... we're NOT getting pregnant (we were in our 1st month of trying to conceive naturally since the lap when all this happened) & notice, even 5 days late last cycle, we're still not pregnant. Why? I believe in every fiber of my being that God wants us to adopt.<br /><br />I actually then called one of my best friends & she confessed to me that she had been having a sort of adoption feeling for me since BEFORE Christmas but she never said anything b/c she felt like that was my decision & was between me & God but when I broached the subject with her Thursday (Jan 20th), that's when she confessed. Specifically she said that anytime she sees adoption posters or advertisement, I just come to mind & she really believes it is the Holy Spirit speaking to her.<br /><br />I, of course, would LOVE any child... biological or not but I'm going to confess here... adoption has always scared me. Mostly the money. I KNOW if God is in this, He will provide so I try not to think about it & lean on Him, having faith.<br /><br />Anyway, so I've been thinking A LOT about adoption lately. Like, what kind of adoption does God want us to do? Embryo adoption (like I had wrote about several months ago... <a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2010/11/at-crossroads.html">At the crossroads</a>), traditional baby adoption (domestic or international), or traditional older child adoption (from foster care). I have always kinda felt pulled toward an older child (since I know a lot of people want babies, leaving the older children in the system who want nothing more than someone to love them) but God is softening my heart toward domestic adoption (I just can't give up the idea of having a baby right now... I do want to adopt an older child but in the future since I really feel like time is running out for a baby (I'm not getting any younger over here <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy004.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 16px; height: 16px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy004.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>)) so right now I feel a pull toward domestic or embryo adoption, but which?<br /><br />I'll definitely keep you posted but it could get quite around here for a little while, until there is something to update. <a href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />So, I'm going to leave you with 2 scriptures that really speak to me right now...<br /><blockquote>"The LORD will fight<a name="1"></a> for you; you need only to be still."<a name="2"></a> <span style="font-style: italic;"><br />~Exodus 14:14<br /><br /></span>"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."<span style="font-style: italic;"><br />~1 Corinthians 2:9</span></blockquote>Thank you, Jesus! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-48831008847361095932011-02-21T18:30:00.003-06:002011-04-09T16:10:19.739-05:00God's Perfect Timing!God is so good!!! I can barely believe it but as of today, we have the most beautiful crib in the world! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> Well, the most beautiful crib in my eyes anyway! <a href="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09801.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 324px; height: 246px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09801.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>A close up of the headboard/backboard...<br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09803.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 324px; height: 204px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09803.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/11-24-07_1148.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 324px; height: 242px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/11-24-07_1148.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>I bought this crib for my sister back when my niece was born years ago & now it's mine! <a href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 19px; height: 19px;" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> And it's all thanks to God & HIS perfect timing... </p><p>My mom & sister (who live together) were moving & have been trying to move into this new place for MONTHS now. They wanted to be in before Christmas but alas that didn't happen... God's timing is never our timing, is it? <a href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> So they finally got to move in just a little over a week ago. Well, my niece's birthday party was last weekend & after the party I dropped by their new place to look it over & I noticed that my niece's bed wasn't set up & instead another bed sat in it's place. I was, of course, a little confused. Long story short, the crib is a convertible crib & is supposed to convert to a full size bed but they couldn't figure out how to do that so they just set up ANOTHER bed & was going to get rid of the crib/bed but thankfully God worked it all out so that I'd show up when I did, notice that the bed was missing, & inquire into it which led to ME getting the bed. If they would have moved in earlier I may never have known about the crib & may never have gotten it but God knew & He worked it all out. Praise the Lord! <a href="http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-cute-smileys-457.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 41px; height: 24px;" src="http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-cute-smileys-457.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> We picked it up today & it isn't fully set up yet... we're still missing a few screws but I'm sure we can find them from a local hardware store or Babies R' Us (where we originally bought the bed in the first place).</p><p>One of the amazing things about this story though is just how much I ADORE this crib. I have ALWAYS loved this crib from the very beginning but I wanted to do something really special for my sister so I bought her the crib that I secretly longed to be buying for myself. And ever since buying this crib for her, every time I'd look at cribs online, dreaming of the day I'd finally get to buy one for myself, deep down I always kinda compared my sister's crib to whatever I might be looking at/dreaming of. I have never once been jealous really (I have always been very happy to have bought her such a beautiful crib) but this one has always been that "dream" crib for me... you know the one that you use to compare all other cribs to. Anyway, little did I know that I was actually buying that crib for myself way back when.<br /></p><p>God is so good & this is a huge reminder that we are just one step closer to the baby that I know He is preparing JUST for us. Praise the Lord & thank you from the bottom of my heart! Only He knows what this truly means to me! <a href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>By the way, I know it's been a little quite around here lately... we are into the 2nd month of trying to conceive naturally. I will def update you when there is more to update. <a href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>And speaking of perfect timing, Elaine over on God's Faithfulness Through Infertility wrote an awesome post on God's timing & our asking "WHY?" It was just what I needed to hear last weekend & is a GREAT reminder of just how perfect His timing truly is... <a href="http://www.faithfullyinfertile.com/2011/02/we-always-want-answers-as-to-why-here-is-one/">We always want answers as to “Why?”. Here is one.</a><br /></p><p><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-751755084333612052011-01-21T20:40:00.006-06:002011-01-21T22:26:46.981-06:00I won my very first award!!! =)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_80bUCxpl8B9bvggse0e8vZlC_wXdyP7GvZDcSAb63vnBtKv5Fp8oBCnMpcUFQCAB6xuag5wFxymTh1tIoDGiIL_UYWu8k0GdWb1IKfN0uvlZS4_5ArrPb-K_sA9XjcI9Lb6R_2H7D4eZ/s1600/Stylish-Blogger.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5564464933031055698" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 160px; height: 160px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_80bUCxpl8B9bvggse0e8vZlC_wXdyP7GvZDcSAb63vnBtKv5Fp8oBCnMpcUFQCAB6xuag5wFxymTh1tIoDGiIL_UYWu8k0GdWb1IKfN0uvlZS4_5ArrPb-K_sA9XjcI9Lb6R_2H7D4eZ/s400/Stylish-Blogger.jpg" border="0" /></a> Thank you, <a href="http://weareexpectingmiracles.blogspot.com/">Ashley</a>... this is the highlight of my day! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Here are the rules for the acceptance of the award:<br /><br />1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.<br />2. Share 7 things about yourself.<br />3. Award 15 other bloggers.<br />4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.<br /></p><p><br />Let's see, 7 things about me...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1.</span> I LOVE lizards & am often called the lizard paparazzi by both my husband (Mike) & son (Austin) in the summer b/c I am ALWAYS taking pictures of them. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></p><p>Here's just a few of my favorite pics that I have taken...</p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><div style="width: 480px; text-align: center;"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://w439.photobucket.com/pbwidget.swf?pbwurl=http%3A%2F%2Fw439.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fqq111%2Facollins24%2FLizards%2F4b939aba.pbw" width="480" height="360"></embed><a href="http://photobucket.com/slideshows" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn.gif" style="border-width: 0pt; float: left;" /></a><a href="http://s439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/Lizards/?action=view&current=4b939aba.pbw" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn_viewallimages.gif" style="border-width: 0pt; float: left;" /></a></div></span><br /></p><p></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-weight: bold;">2.</span> We (Mike, Austin, & I) love all kinds of animals & we do our very best to live alongside God's beautiful creatures. We had a family of snakes living under our porch over this past summer. I know most people would kill them but not us... we loved our little neighbors & would often go out looking for them, hoping to catch a glimpse of them sunning themselves. By the way, these were King snakes & not poisonous at all. Actually if you are going to have a family of snakes living nearby these are the ones you want b/c they eat the poisonous ones! LOL Oh & we even use mice cubes b/c we would prefer to not kill mice. We are just big animal lovers.</p><p>Here's a pic of one of our *neighbors*...</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/Lizards/DSC08560.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 356px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/Lizards/DSC08560.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3.</span> I'm a very crafty person. I love to paint & draw & other general crafts. I can do very basic knitting & want to learn to crochet as well. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> (Austin & I actually have an Arts & Crafts (business) blog if you wanna check out our *craftiness*... <a href="http://aandaart.blogspot.com/">A&A Art</a>.)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4.</span> We homeschool... this is our 2nd year homeschooling & Austin is in 9th grade. I LOVE it & my only regret is that we didn't do it sooner.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5.</span> I once dated a guy who was invited to appear on Jerry Springer! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked006.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked006.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.thescubasite.com/smile/happy/happy0195.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 40px; height: 18px;" src="http://www.thescubasite.com/smile/happy/happy0195.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6.</span> I have recently gotten interested in America's Next Top Model (though not one of my absolute favorite shows). Now, if you know my personality, this show is a little out of character for me (I am so not a girly girl or even care about girly things like fashion, make-up, etc). I'm not sure why I like it but I do love to watch the models "do their thing" & see the results. It's art to me & it is kinda fun to see if I can guess who's going to get eliminated next.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7.</span> I LOVE LOVE LOVE Uno & all forms of it. We have the original Uno card game, Uno Attack, & Uno Spin (probably my favorite of the 3). And I sooooooooo want Uno Flash! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />And those who I am passing this award on to:</p><p><a href="http://thelaneyfamily.blogspot.com/">Adair</a><br /><a href="http://ourgreatanticipation.blogspot.com/">Amber</a><br /><a href="http://augiesjourney.blogspot.com/">Augie</a><br /><a href="http://icanmakeangels.blogspot.com/">Brandi</a><br /><a href="http://pinklucy.blogspot.com/">Crystal</a><br /><a href="http://www.faithfullyinfertile.com/">Elaine</a><br /><a href="http://takingthingsonestepatatime.blogspot.com/">Kari</a><br /><a href="http://kristinessoulsigh.blogspot.com/">Kristine</a><br /><a href="http://blessedbycreativejoy.blogspot.com/">Mattie</a><br /><a href="http://honeyscrap.blogspot.com/">Melissa</a><br /><a href="http://psalms113-9.blogspot.com/">Melissa</a><br /><a href="http://patti61588.blogspot.com/">Patti</a><br /><a href="http://pearlsandgrace.blogspot.com/">Sibi</a><br /><a href="http://stephaniesnext30years.blogspot.com/">Stephanie</a><br /><a href="http://justaboredmom.blogspot.com/">Tiffany</a></p><p><img style="border: 0pt none ;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-24234485569333792002011-01-16T06:15:00.000-06:002011-01-16T06:40:15.560-06:00Dedicated in memory to my precious angel baby...on what would have been her 1st birthday...<p>First, I have to say that this is not a sad day but a happy day, though it will be filled with <span style="font-style: italic;">some </span>tears. Happy because God chose us to care & love this precious child of His & chose us to carry this child during her short stay here on Earth. She is safe & happy in His arms, though Mommy, Daddy, & Big Brother all miss her dearly. She is God's perfect creation who was only meant to be here for 11 short weeks but in God's wisdom, He knew those 11 weeks would change our lives forever.<br /></p><p>We love you & miss you so much sweet little one & I, personally, can not wait to get to know you in Heaven one day!</p><p style="text-align: center;"><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/FlDUkp1Ts8A" width="425" frameborder="0" height="344"></iframe><br /></p><p></p><blockquote>To the Child of My Heart<br /><br />O precious, tiny sweet little one<br />You will always be to me<br />So perfect, pure and innocent<br />Just as you were meant to be.<br /><br />We dreamed of you and of your life<br />And all that it would be<br />We waited and longed for you to<br />come and join our family.<br /><br />We never had the chance to play.<br />To laugh, to rock, to wiggle<br />We long to hold you, touch you<br />And to listen to you giggle.<br /><br />I'll always be your mother,<br />He'll always be your dad.<br />You will always be our child,<br />the child that we had.<br /><br />But now you're gone . . .<br />but yet you're here.<br />You are our sorrow and our joy,<br />there's love in every tear.<br /><br />Just know our love goes deep and strong.<br />We'll forget you never.<br />The child we had, but never had,<br />and yet will have forever.</blockquote><p></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">In memory of Chloe Elizabeth*</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Estimated due date, January 16, 2010</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Date of loss, July 1, 2009</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2009/12/remembering-my-sweet-angel_04.html">Remembering My Sweet Angel</a></span></p><p><span style="font-size:78%;"><span>* Yes, I know we named her Chris but that was before I really started feeling/believing that it was a she & not a he. Chris is gender neutral but Chris just never really felt right... Chloe Elizabeth was the name chosen while we were pregnant for a girl.</span></span><br /><img style="border: 0pt none ;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-21961821931043216742011-01-10T21:29:00.004-06:002011-01-10T21:59:34.930-06:005 years!2011 marks year number 5 on this infertility journey for us. It's funny but when we started this journey, sometime in 2006, I thought we'd get pregnant rather quickly. After all, Austin was a surprise so I knew I could get pregnant. Yeah, okay. LOL In the beginning (well, maybe about a year into it when I realized we weren't getting pregnant very easily) I was so lost, so depressed, so heartbroken. Why can't I get pregnant? What is wrong with me? With us? Am I a bad mother; is that why I can't get pregnant... because I'm a bad mother & God doesn't want me to have another? That last one weighed heavily on my heart for a long time. I thought something was wrong with ME & that God doesn't think I'm good enough so He was withholding this from me/us. I loved God but I didn't KNOW Him. I didn't understand this whole "Christianity" thing. I didn't understand the relationship part. I didn't understand that God was NOT withholding this blessing from me. I didn't understand that God only wants good for us & He loves us deeply. Words can't express the depth of the love He has for us, even in our fallen state (which is exactly where I was at during this time in my life), even before we accept Him.<br /><p>But, as I have said in the past, God blessed me with infertility. Whoa, wait, what? Blessed, you ask. Yes, BLESSED! I would have never asked for infertility or wish it on anyone but He used infertility in my life to show me Him, His AWESOMENESS, & His power. He has used it to redeem me, to bring me to my knees in submission to Him & for that alone I am eternally grateful. He is growing me through this infertility... He is growing my character & molding me into Christ's likeness. He has greatly increased my faith & trust in Him. I see His hand all around me where before infertility, I knew & loved Him, though disobedient & wretched, but I didn't truly experience Him on a day to day basis like I do now. For example, just a few weekends ago, as I was shopping at the Thrift Store a book that I have been wanting since the beginning of this journey caught my eye... <a href="http://www.christianbook.com/when-god-doesnt-make-sense-softcover/james-dobson/9780842382373/pd/82372?item_code=WW&netp_id=125311&event=ESRCN&view=details">When God Doesn't Make Sense by James Dobson</a>. It wasn't even in the proper place so how & where I actually saw it was a miracle in itself. And then just a few days later I learned that our church is about to start a new women's Bible study... <a href="http://www.christianbook.com/jonah-navigating-life-interrupted-member-book/priscilla-shirer/9781415868492/pd/868492?item_code=WW&netp_id=842348&event=ESRCN&view=details">Jonah: Navigating A Life Interrupted by Priscilla Shirer</a>. Now this is so special to me b/c I JUST went (last month) to a <a href="http://www.lifeway.com/event/150/">Deeper Still</a> conference with Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer, & Kay Arthur. I went for Beth Moore but was blessed by Priscilla Shirer. I'm telling you I was bawling by the time Priscilla Shirer quit speaking! She talked mostly about being in "the faith place" (that's where we feel compelled by God to do something & it's in THIS place that we have the potential to see miracles) & the "God margin" (we can only get so far w/o His help but that margin between what WE can do & the end goal is the "God margin" & is where He can step in & show out by performing miracles). Wow, I'm getting all teary-eyed just remembering how her words spoke to me that day.<br /><br />Anyway, back to the original story... our church is going to start the Jonah study this coming Sunday <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-cute-smileys-457.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 41px; height: 24px;" src="http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-cute-smileys-457.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> & though initially I wanted to do her <a href="http://www.christianbook.com/one-million-journey-your-promised-land/priscilla-shirer/9780805464764/pd/464764?item_code=WW&netp_id=646338&event=ESRCN&view=details">One In A Million study</a> (I even got the One In A Million book for Christmas <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>), obviously God has other plans. Actually shortly after the the Deeper Still conference I was blog surfing on other infertility blogs & ran across Ashley over at <a href="http://weareexpectingmiracles.blogspot.com/">Expecting Miracles</a> & she just recently started this very same study. This study is obviously just something that is coming up a lot lately so I know God has big things planned for me <span style="font-weight: bold;">through </span>this study so I definitely don't want to miss out! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> Actually, watching the youtube video about how Priscilla Shirer's life was interrupted, has me soooooooooooooooo excited about this study.<br /></p><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Z__D_dr5Ivc" width="425" frameborder="0" height="344"></iframe><br /></div><p>It's not a divine interruption but a divine intervention & that is exactly what infertility is & has been. It isn't an accident & it has always only been for my good... to prosper me, not to harm me. Thank you, Jesus. I can't wait to see what is in store for me during the next several weeks as I go through this study.<br /><br />Okay, last but not least, below are my notes from Priscilla Shirer during the Deeper Still conference. I wanted to record them here since they spoke to me so deeply & actually spoke directly on the subject of my infertility...<br /></p><blockquote>Faith without works (obedience) is dead.<br /><br />When we feel compelled by God to do something, this is when we are called to the faith place (such as Esther, Jonah, Moses as he was parting the Red Sea). It is here where we have the potential to see miracles.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Kings%2013:14-19&version=NIV">2 Kings 13:14-19</a><br />Elisha (his relationship with God) is their security but Elisha is dying & that security is quickly coming to an end. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Don't concentrate on what we don't have & concentrate instead on what we do have (our bow & arrows).</span> God's hand was placed on the king.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Chronicles%2016:9&version=NIV">2 Chronicles 16:9</a><br /><br />Be sure you <u style="font-weight: bold;">hear</u><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>from God.<br /><blockquote>"For every major decision, I have a particular verse for that decision."<br />~ Anne Graham Lotts</blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold;">According to your faith, it will be done unto you. What you're willing to invest, you will get.</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Corinthians%2012:9-10&version=NIV">2 Corinthians 12:9-10</a> - <span style="font-weight: bold;">In our weakness He is strong.</span><br /><br /><u>Why we don't lay it all down:</u><br /><ul><li>It doesn't make sense</li><li>Doubt</li><li>We don't want to look crazy</li><li>Insecurity/Plan B</li></ul><br />We believe little because we've seen little & we've seen little because we believe little.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2020:7&version=NIV">Psalm 20:7</a><br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%206:1&version=NIV">Matthew 6:1</a><br /><br /><u>Others who have looked foolish throughout scripture:</u><br /><ul><li>Noah</li><li>Moses, parting the Red Sea</li><li>Sarah's pregnancy</li><li>David & Goliath</li><li>Peter walking on water</li><li>Marry's pregnancy</li><li>Isrealites & Jericho</li><li>Esther</li><li>Caleb</li><li>3 Wisemen</li><li>The boy & his fish feeding 5,000</li><li>Jesus on the Cross</li></ul></blockquote><p><img style="border: 0pt none ;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-29369178750779700752011-01-05T17:45:00.006-06:002011-03-27T15:41:09.261-05:00Post-lap appt updateSo the appt went well. He went over the results (<a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2010/12/laproscopy-update.html">pics</a>) with me & we talked some. Bottom line, we are going to try *au naturale* for 3 months & if I don't get pregnant, we'll come back in & do more meds. I LOVED the idea since I was kinda hoping that we'd get to try naturally for at least 1 cycle anyway. He did say that we have a better chance at getting pregnant now & even told me a story of another patient who was in a very similar situation as me & who is finally pregnant now & doing well. I'm hopeful that we might get pregnant naturally but regardless I KNOW God is by my side, holding my hand, carrying me through this. I will be okay, with His help, no matter what & I'm excited to see what He has in store for me! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /></a>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-65075425868349234102010-12-18T14:04:00.006-06:002011-01-10T21:51:50.005-06:00Lookie, lookie...Lookie what I just bought today...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09787.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 180px; height: 208px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09787.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09794.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 131px; height: 204px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/DSC09794.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></div> <p>Isn't he just adorable!!! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 19px; height: 19px;" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> When I saw this little guy in Wal-Mart I fell in love & decided that I am going to buy him in faith that we <span style="font-weight: bold;">will </span>have a baby!!! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> It reminds me of something I read over on <a href="http://pearlsandgrace.blogspot.com/2010/05/sound.html">Pearls & Grace</a>:</p><p></p><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Something that helped to stretch my faith was to purchase those diapers and those sweet, little baby things. I have often encouraged friends and readers to do the very same thing and even place those diapers in the middle of the kitchen table like a centerpiece. I encouraged them to just thank God for the baby that is on it's way with each meal~ with each time they sit at the table. Just thank Him in advance for the sound of a baby in their house, for all the diapers they will have to change and for the sweetest and tiniest loads of laundry they will have to wash.</span></blockquote>Thank you, Lord. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for blessing me with the baby I know I will have & for carrying me through the toughest times as I wait. Thank you so much for everything; for <span style="font-weight: bold;">all </span>You do! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 19px; height: 19px;" src="http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0033.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Okay, one last "lookie"...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-love-smileys-881.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 32px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-love-smileys-881.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> <--I was looking for a cute little emoticon to express love & found this... isn't it perfect, considering the circumstances! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> <img style="border: 0pt none ;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-24897412946455326632010-12-11T19:44:00.008-06:002011-03-26T13:06:58.315-05:00Laprascopy UpdateWow! I never realized just what a major surgery that would be (especially since I honestly thought this was going to be more exploratory than anything (I thought they wouldn't find anything wrong) but as usual, I was I wrong <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy004.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 16px; height: 16px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy004.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>). I'm so much better today than I was yesterday though. Yesterday I felt like I had been run over by a truck! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/confused/confused0085.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/confused/confused0085.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><p>First off, yay that the procedure got bumped up from 11:30 am to 9 am b/c of a cancellation ahead of me! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> Actually, I think God knew he'd need extra time on me or something. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> I'm not sure how long the procedure actually took but Mike said they wheeled me away at about 9:30 & the dr didn't come back to talk to him till 11:30 <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked006.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked006.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> & then it was 3 pm before we got to go home so all in all, a very long day. *sigh* I call Monday to make a follow up appointment in approximately 2 weeks so be on the lookout for another update then! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/winking/winking0006.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/winking/winking0006.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></p><p>So apparently it was a MESS in there & according to Mike the first thing out of Dr S's mouth was how he didn't know how in the world I got pregnant last year & how it was a <span style="font-weight: bold;">miracle</span> that we did get pregnant considering what he found during my lap. My ovary & tube were attached to my abdominal wall so he got to work & detached them & put them back where they belong. Woo-hoo! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> But I'm still not sure if it really helped in terms of "was this the reason I've been having such a hard time getting pregnant" since I know he feels that my ovary is just kaput. He never mentioned to Mike that this lap might help us get pregnant... he only said that he didn't know if we could get pregnant but I <span style="font-style: italic;">know </span>I can get pregnant with God's help... I did before with my ovary in such a difficult place. Go God! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-cute-smileys-457.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 41px; height: 24px;" src="http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-cute-smileys-457.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></p><p>Now for the TMI/possibly gross part... the pictures! But be forewarned: <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-signs135.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 39px; height: 39px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-signs135.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-signs113.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 51px; height: 40px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-signs113.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> (though honestly I think it's pretty cool--that's why I'm sharing <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>)</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/File0303copy.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 399px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/File0303copy.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/File0304copy.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 398px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/File0304copy.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/File0305copy.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 401px;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/File0305copy.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p> <p>Oh & something else interesting... I haven't heard anything embryo donation from Resolve in a loooooooooooong time (apparently about a month) & guess what they posted yesterday... the day of my lap!? Another embryo donation video....<a href="http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1654268840152#%21/video/video.php?v=1749257734815">Multiple Embryo Donations</a>....& on such an important day in my trying to conceive journey too. I just wanted to document it but for now we are moving forward with meds unless the Lord guides us otherwise. After meds, I honestly don't know what we'll do since we're waiting on God's wisdom. We'll just have to wait & see what the Lord has in store, I guess! Regardless though, I know He's carrying us through this & preparing us for great things!!! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-25994558750370235612010-11-30T19:23:00.000-06:002010-11-30T19:34:11.374-06:00Pre-Admission Testing - Check!So I went yesterday to register with the hospital & let them draw some blood & other such things in preparation for my upcoming laprascopy. The pre-admission building wasn't too hard to find though I do have a pretty ironic story about that... <p>I have never been to this particular building before so of course I used my handy dandy GPS to find it (I LOVE that thing <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>). Anyway, I turned into the wrong parking lot. I turned into a small shopping area in the adjacent lot next to the building I was looking for. Simple mistake so I go to turn around & as I do I see a local baby furniture store. *sigh* I sat there a minute & took a deep breathe, just staring at the store front. "One day," I told myself, "One day!" (Though I'm not going to lie... some days are better than others. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>)<br /></p><p>Okay so the appointment itself wasn't too bad but apparently this is more of a major surgery than I initially thought. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked030.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 19px; height: 16px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked030.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> They gave me a little device to use to help get the anesthesia out of my lungs after the surgery (which of course I wasn't really expecting but then again I've never had this done before so what do I know about what to expect <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-confused005.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 37px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-confused005.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>). Apparently it's called an incentive spirometer:<br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://healthpages.org/surgical-care/preventing-lung-problems-after-surgery-general-anesthesia/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/incentive-spirometer-300x300.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /></p><p>I haven't had one of these things in a loooooooooooong time. Anyway, nothing much to update... we're just one step closer to surgery! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><img style="border: 0pt none ;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-33746255889049713302010-11-22T19:26:00.005-06:002011-03-26T13:08:13.841-05:00Thanksgiving! =)Wow, what a difference a year makes! I remember a year ago yesterday was a really hard day for me. We had our Thanksgiving fellowship service at church yesterday & a year ago that happened to fall shortly after I had first been referred to the RE, which was a really low point on this journey for me. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sad047.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sad047.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> I thought this trying to conceive journey was over for us b/c seeing an RE meant mucho moolah, which we don't have. It was around that time (well shortly after) that we decided to take a medical assistance break & wait on the Lord but I remember that morning's service like it was yesterday... I was in tears in the middle of our praise & worship, hoping & praying that no one saw my pain. I could barely sing anything b/c my heart hurt so much. I think I hid it from everyone pretty well except for my best friend who obviously caught on. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><p>Yesterday's service was so much better though... it was a happy time for me. Yeah, I still want a baby but the Lord is growing my faith & trust in Him by leaps & bounds over the past year. I am so very thankful for that & for all His provisions. He is ALWAYS providing... just recently, new tires on my car & the means to pay for them. I am thankful for the way that He is changing both myself & my husband's heart. He is obviously preparing both of us for GREAT things. I can't believe the changes I have seen in both of us... we are both growing closer to God AND to each other. And that just reminds me of a quote that I recently found online that has quickly become a favorite:</p><p><span class="text_exposed_show"><blockquote>"When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely <span style="font-weight: bold;">opening your hands to receive something better</span>. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."<br />~ Author Unknown</blockquote></span> </p><p>I'm so glad that we have such a <span style="font-weight: bold;">big </span>& <span style="font-weight: bold;">awesome </span>God & I am so very thankful for His grace, mercy, provisions, & protection even when we can't see the road ahead of us. Speaking of not being able to see the road ahead, our insurance is about to change in 2011 but I am not stressing. Instead I am trusting God & leaning on Him. It could easily be a very scary time... will the new insurance cover Follistim? And if so, will it cost the same or more (or maybe even less)? I don't know but I know that God will see us through this.<br /></p><p>G sang an AMAZING song that really really spoke to my heart yesterday during our Thanksgiving service as well that I just have to share...</p><p style="text-align: center;"><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hhIZlNHpm6U?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hhIZlNHpm6U?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p><p>Thank you Lord, for the way that you love us! How you love us. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> I love you so much... more than anything & more than my desire to have a baby.</p><p><img style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-28370679891387019802010-11-16T12:38:00.007-06:002011-01-10T21:51:55.229-06:00It came, it came...Bet you're wondering, "What in the world is she talking about???" <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> I entered a drawing on another blog...<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i757.photobucket.com/albums/xx214/gigglygirlatheart/GreaterYes/AGY_button-1.jpg"><img src="http://i757.photobucket.com/albums/xx214/gigglygirlatheart/GreaterYes/AGY_button-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /></div>...for a chance to win an awesome infertility book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Budgeting-Infertility-Bring-Without-Breaking/dp/1416566589">Budgeting for Infertility by Sterling & Best-Boss</a> & I won!!! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0045.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 28px; height: 28px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0045.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> Well, I just got it in the mail today & the most special part... a note from Jess:<br /><blockquote>Amanda,<br /><span style="font-size:78%;"> </span><br />Hope that you find this book helpful. Praying that 2011 brings your miracle!<br /><span style="font-size:78%;"> </span><br />Jess</blockquote>Thank you so much Jess, for the giveaway & for the prayers. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> I know God is carrying me through this. This book is yet another of His blessings in my life & I am so excited to get started reading it.<br /><img style="border: 0pt none ;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-75741597573792673322010-11-04T15:48:00.002-05:002010-11-04T15:53:22.816-05:00Laparoscopic surgery has been scheduled! =)Surgery will be on Friday, December 10th @ 11:30 am but of course I have to be there at 9:30 am. I'm somewhat excited & very nervous! I just don't like surgeries. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><p><img style="border: 0pt none ;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7453614194121469453.post-19093817668181695862010-11-01T04:58:00.011-05:002011-01-10T21:59:56.565-06:00At the crossroads...Wow, the last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> I need prayers for guidance & wisdom right now... to know the Lord's will & more specifically for Mike to clearly hear God's will on this as well. So, what's going on, you may ask...<p>Last update, as you may remember, was that we were going to do a laparoscopic surgery then on to more, stronger medicine. Well, *that* night (Oct 7th) as I lay in bed praying, asking the Lord, "What do YOU want me to do?" I had the random thought pop into my head, "Embryo Adoption/Donation." I didn't think much of it at first, since IVF has always been out in my mind, but just a few days later (Oct 13th, okay about a week later <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>) Resolve started a video campaign on Facebook on Embryo Donation... <a href="http://www.facebook.com/#%21/video/video.php?v=1654268840152">Embryo Donation 101</a>. That's when my eyes & ears perked up & I asked the Lord, "Are you trying to tell me something?" Since then a lot of things have been pointing in that direction... I found an amazing Embryo Adoption/Donation blog (<a href="http://agreateryes.blogspot.com/">A Greater Yes</a>) with lots of valuable info (I found this blog without even really looking for it... I was blog surfing on other infertility blogs & this is the 1st time that I recall ever coming across an Embryo Adoption/Donation blog), another friend posted on her blog about being named the recipient of a friend's embryos should something happen to them, I am seeing a lot of info/programs on adoption related topics (on FaceBook from Focus on the Family & Family Talk with James Dobson & then when I do a google search on a phrase that really shouldn't necessarily be linked with adoption I find all kinds of adoption articles... adoption is ALL around me now).</p><p>So I fasted & prayed Saturday, the 23rd, for guidance & wisdom. I want ONLY His will for my life & this journey but I have been kinda confused lately. I do & have said many times, I do think we will have a baby & I do think I will even carry that baby but has He told me that it will def be a biological child... I'm just not sure (of course "biological" is what I assumed <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 20px; height: 20px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/happy/happy0162.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> but re-examining it, I just can't say that He said it would be biological for a fact). <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-confused005.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 37px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-confused005.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p>I 100% believe that I can get pregnant, if it were His will. 100 mg Clomid WORKED & then after the m/c we tried 100 mg again & it failed so we upped the Clomid to 150 mg & again it failed (my progesterone actually went down) & then the next cycle at my 1st RE appt, the RE took my progesterone to "just see" & I ovulated (no medication at all) according to him (<a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2009/12/spontaneous-ovulation-what.html">Spontaneous Ovulation? What?!?</a>)! So then we go on to Follistim (150 IUs) which is a stronger drug than Clomid with no success. We then even upped the Follistim dose (225 IUs) with no success. I KNOW it could/would have worked had the Lord's will been for it to work. So now I'm at a crossroads... 1) I can either continue down the road of medical assistance, possibly wasting more & more money; 2) I can stop & wait on Him to will my ovary to work & get pregnant somewhere down the road naturally (hopefully); or 3) I can go with embryo adoption/donation. Of course the last option is a little expensive (granted not nearly as expensive as regular IVF or adoption but still somewhat expensive nonetheless).<br /></p><p>The good thing about embryo donation though is that it bypasses some of the problems that adoption would have entailed & why I thought we couldn't/wouldn't be able to adopt in the 1st place (<a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2010/10/2nd-injectables-cycle-re-follow-up-appt.html">2nd injectables cycle RE follow up appt</a>). <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> And a life that could have never had the chance to live will be given the chance at life. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 22px; height: 29px;" src="http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-love029.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a> The down side is that donation (verses adoption) means the baby most likely will never know his/her biological parents since most donations are closed & not open (this really only concerns me b/c EVERYTHING I read says open is ALWAYS better for the child & that bothers me only b/c as every parent does... I want what's best for my child but at the same time I KNOW that if the Lord has called me to do donation then this IS what's best for my child). The other down side is money, of course (though, again, if this is the Lord's will, money won't be an issue AND I do think if I organize a yard sale or 2 I could raise 4-5 thousand (the Lord willing), which is approximately what it looks like it will cost).</p><p>Someone brought up the fact that Sarah (Abraham's wife) did something very similar when she got frustrated and tired of waiting for God and took the situation into her own hands by giving Abraham her maidservant so that she could *adopt,* which as you probably know, didn't turn out very well for anyone. I'm very glad that M brought this to my attention because I do NOT want to make the same mistake as Sarah & the fact that M brought it up shows how loving & caring she is... she doesn't want me to make the same mistake either. I only want God's will & M is 100% right about what Sarah did & how it turned out. I guess that is why I am taking this so seriously... WHICH WAY DO I GO???<br /></p><p>I did find an AMAZING online Bible study on Sarah Saturday night as I was fasting & praying & then Sunday morning's (Oct 24th) sermon was on Abraham & Sarah (I have ALWAYS felt a connection to Sarah more so than any other barren female in the Bible) & one of my favorite stories (Abraham taking Isaac up the mountain to sacrifice him; where he learned that <span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">"The LORD Will Provide"</span> (<a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2010/06/r-at-fort-walton-beach.html">R&R at Fort Walton Beach</a>))...</p><p>I'm going to list the Bible study toward the bottom since it's kinda long. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1247.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><blockquote><span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><blockquote></blockquote><p></p></blockquote><p>My notes from Sunday's sermon (Oct 24th)...</p><p></p><blockquote>"'Soul'ed Out Kids"<br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2022&version=NIV" target="_blank">Genesis 22</a> & <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy%2032&version=NIV" target="_blank">Deuteronomy 32</a> (concentrating on verses <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy%2032:44-47&version=NIV" target="_blank">44-47</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy%2032:1-4&version=NIV" target="_blank">1-4</a>, & <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy%2032:28-29&version=NIV" target="_blank">28-29</a>)<br /><br /><u>Raising "Soul"ed Out Kids:</u><ol style="list-style-type: decimal;"><li>Be willing to take the right journey. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2022:3&version=NIV" target="_blank">Genesis 22:3</a></li><li>Worship the <b>giver </b>not the gift. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2022:5&version=NIV" target="_blank">Genesis 22:5</a><br />If we worship the gift it becomes an idol.</li><li>Trust God will provide. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2022:5&version=NIV" target="_blank">Genesis 22:5</a></li><li>Remember our child's purpose is to be a blessing to God. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2022:18&version=NIV" target="_blank">Genesis 22:18</a></li><li>Teach them to truly live. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Peter%201:18-20&version=NIV" target="_blank">1 Peter 1:18-20</a></li></ol><u>Tough Questions for Parents:</u><br /><ol><li>What would your kids say is most important to you?</li><li>What am I teaching my kids?</li><li>Do I truly understand that my kids are to be a blessing to God?<br /></li></ol></blockquote>And it doesn't end there. Yesterday's service (Oct 31st) REALLY spoke to me as well.<br /><p></p><p></p><blockquote><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus&version=NIV">Exodus</a><br /><br />The "wilderness" is a place of growth, a place of testing & stretching by God. Something BIG is about to happen & He's preparing you for it.<br /><br />The Greek or Hebrew word (can't remember which) for "wilderness" is "milbar" which means a desert & literally means "driving you." It is a place of solitude; it is uncultivated & deprived of help of others.<br /><br />We need to learn to run to God & rely on Him, not on our friends.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Worship </span>is not about us.<br /><br /><u>3 Keys:</u><br /><ol><li>Celebrate God in the wilderness. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%205:1&version=NIV">Exodus 5:1</a></li><li>Serve God. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%207:16&version=NIV">Exodus 7:16</a><br /></li><li>Sacrifice to God. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%208:27&version=NIV">Exodus 8:27</a></li></ol>They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!” Moses answered the people, “<span style="font-weight: bold;">Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today.</span> The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. <span style="font-weight: bold;">The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.</span>”<span style="font-style: italic;"> ~ Exodus 14:11-14</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> (emphasis on what spoke to me most is mine </span><a style="font-style: italic;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 18px; height: 18px;" src="http://forum.thescubasite.com/happy/happy0148.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">)</span><br /></blockquote><p></p><p>Which if you've read my blog for long, you know that I firmly believe this time in my life is MY wilderness (<a href="http://galatians4-22-23.blogspot.com/2010/08/cd-12-update.html">CD 12 Update</a>) & actually I've heard a great song about "the wilderness" lately...<br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yxMdFWK65gM?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yxMdFWK65gM?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /></p><p>And now, the Bible study I promised...<br /></p><p><a href="http://womeninchrist.org/bbl_stdy/pcldchsn.html">Bible Study Guide: Sarah and Grace, Called and Chosen</a><br /></p><p><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-weight: bold;">Part I Sarah's Example</span> <span style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);">(completed on October 23, 2010)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. Genesis 11:27-32;20:12 Describe Sarai's family situation.</span> Married to her half brother. Was barren (childless).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Genesis 12:4 How old is Abram when he leaves Haran for Canaan? Compare Genesis 17:1 to 17:17 How old is Sarai compared to Abram?</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>Abram is 75 when he leaves Haran. Sarai is 10 years younger than Abram. <span style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);">I'm 10 years younger than Mike. </span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/winking/winking0006.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 15px; height: 15px;" src="http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/winking/winking0006.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Genesis 12:10-20 Do you think Abram could have handled this situation in a different way? Why did God protect and rescue Sarai?</span> I def think Abram could have handled it differently. God protected & rescues Sarai b/c He had made a covenant with Abram to bless (& protect) Abram.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4. Genesis 15:1-6; Galatians 3:6 What was the foundation of Abraham's relationship with God?</span> Faith!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5. Genesis 16:1-16 What is Sarai's solution to their inability to conceive a child? What were the results?</span> Sarai gave Abram her maidservant, Hagar, so she could "adopt." The results were disastrous - Sarai & Hagar were miserable.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6. Genesis 17:1-27 List God's covenant promises to Abram (Abraham). What was Abram's part of the bargain? List God's covenant promises to Sarai (Sarah). Compare the two lists. Name the similarities. What came first - the covenant or the sign of the covenant? (See Genesis 15:18)</span><br />Covenent promises to Abraham:<br /></p><ul><li>* He would be the father of many nations *<br /></li><li>* He will be fruitful *<br /></li><li>* He will make many nations & many kings *<br /></li><li>Canaan would be an everlasting possession</li><li>The covenant would be everlasting</li><li>God would be Abraham's descendants' everlasting God</li></ul><p> Abraham's part of the bargain:<br /></p><ul><li>Him & every male of his household much undergo circumcision</li><li>All his male descendants must be circumcised<br /></li></ul><p> Covenent promises to Sarah:<br /></p><ul><li>* She will be blessed *<br /></li><li>* She will have a son *<br /></li><li>* She will be the mother of nations & of kings *<br /></li></ul><p> Similarities are marked with an astrick (*).</p><p>The covenant comes first (before the sign of circumcision) but why is this important? What does it mean? What significance is there?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7. Genesis 18:1-15; 19:1 Who were the visitors? What was Sarah promised?</span> The visitors were angels. Sarah was promised that she WOULD have a child. <span style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);">I have to add something about this particular scripture:</span></p><blockquote style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;">Then the LORD said, "I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son."</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, "After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?"</span> ~ Genesis 18:10-12 </blockquote><span style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);">Right now, I think I can kinda understand Sarah's laughing. I mean she has gone years & years & years & has even moved on with her life & NOW she's going to get pregnant.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8. Genesis 20:1-17 Why would Abraham once again put Sarah at risk? Do you think Abraham and Sarah more than anyone else deserved to be blessed of God? Why would God once again rescue Sarah from the consequences of their foolish actions? And why would he prosper them as well?</span> I do think they should be GREATLY blessed & maybe even a *little* more than others but I'm not sure really. I do trust God to bless them as much as they deserve & me (& others) as much as we should be. He prospers them b/c of the covenant he made with Abraham.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9. Genesis 21:1-7; Galatians 4:22-23 How old were Abraham and Sarah when Isaac was born? Why would God wait so long to keep his promise?</span> Abraham was 100 & Sarah was 90 when Isaac was born. He waited because He was preparing Abraham & Sarah for the assignment (being the father & mother of many nations).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10. Genesis 21:10-12; Galatians 4:30; 5:4-6 What do Sarah's prophetic words mean? What makes a person a child of promise - child of the free woman Sarah?</span> Sarah's words mean that you can't live by the law & faith both. Is is one or the other. Faith (expressing itself through love) makes a person a child of promise.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Part II Called to be Saints</span> <span style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);">(completed on October 24, 2010)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(The New Strong's Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible gives these definitions of 2821 klesis (calling) klesis: an invitation, vocation, or calling; and 40 hagios (saints) hagios: sacred, consecrated, separated from sin, devoted to God, saints)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. Romans 1:1-5 What was the Apostle Paul invited to become and what was he invited to do?</span> He was invited to become an apostle & to call people from the Gentiles to obedience by faith (i.e. obedience to the Lord for the Gentiles or saving their souls).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Romans 1:5-7 What four facets of God's invitation (calling) are revealed in this passage?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><ol><li>We've received grace & apostleship to call Gentiles (unbelievers) to the obedience that comes from faith (preach the good news of Jesus).</li><li>We/you are ALSO among those called to belong to Jesus.</li><li>Grace & peace is ours from God our Father.</li><li>Grace & peace is ours from the Lord Jesus Christ.</li></ol><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Romans 8:28-30; I Corinthians 1:2 What is God's purpose in extending his invitation or calling?</span> To sanctify us, to make us holy, to justify & glorify us. Most importantly, I think, to conform us into the likeness of Jesus (so that He (Jesus) will be the firstborn among many brothers (& sisters)).<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4. I Corinthians 1:26-31; Matthew 9:12-13 Who is God inviting? And why?</span> God is inviting the foolish, the average, the lowly, the weak, sinners. Why? Because sinners need to be redeemed not righteous & because He uses the foolish/average/lowly/weak things to shame & nullify the wise/above-average/high/strong of this world so that no one can boast unless they "boast in the Lord."<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5. Ephesians 4:1-3; II Thessalonians 1:11-12 What are the responsibilities that a person accepts along with God's invitation?</span> Live a life worthy of Him & His calling by being humble, gentle, patient, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the peace with other believers, glorify Him, FAITH!!!<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);">This particular scripture really spoke to me in this verse:</span><br /><blockquote style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;">With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that by his power he may fulfill every act prompted by your faith. </span> ~ 2 Thessalonians 1:11 (somewhat adapted by me)</blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold;">6. Ephesians 1:18-21; 2:4-10 What are the benefits of accepting God's invitation?</span> HOPE!!! Riches (in heaven), His great power & mighty strength in our lives. We have a calling (a purpose in life). His GREAT love, His mercy. We are alive in Christ now even though we were once dead in sin. His grace. Eternal life in heaven with Jesus. His kindness, His gifts.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7. II Peter 1:3-11; Hebrews 3:1 How can you “make your calling and election sure?” (II Peter 1:10)</span> Keeping your thoughts on Jesus & always seeking to increase your faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness & love.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Part III God's Chosen</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. Acts 13:16-41 Why did God choose (v.17) the fathers of the people of Israel? (v.23) Why should this be important to you? (v.38-41)</span> Why did He chose the fathers? (???) to bring forth Jesus. This should be important because through Jesus, everyone who believes in Him is forgiven of sin.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Matthew 22:1-14 Why, since many are invited, would few be chosen?</span> (???) Some are not worthy of the calling (not worthy to be chosen). <span style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);">Of course none of us are "worthy" so I don't know.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. I Thessalonians 1:4-6 How does God invite and choose his people?</span> He invites us through His Word (the Gospel) & chooses us through the Holy Spirit (by giving us the Holy Spirit).<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4. Colossians 3:1-4:1; I Thessalonians 1:7-10; John 15:16-17; I Peter 2:9-12 What is expected from God's chosen people?</span> Set your hearts & minds on things above rather than on earthly things, be a model to all believers, speak the Lord's message, show your faith in God everywhere you go, turn from idols & serve the one TRUE God, go & bear fruit, love each other, praise Him, abstain from sinful desires, & live good lives.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">5. John 17:24-26; Revelation 17:14; 21:1-7; 22:12 Do you want to be one of the “called, chosen and faithful followers” who receive a reward from God and Jesus, the Lord of lords and King of kings?</span> Yes!!! Revelations 21:1-7 spoke most to me, especially, <span style="font-style: italic;">"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son" </span>(4a, 6b-7).<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">6. Acts 2:37-41; John 3:3-21; John 4:10, 13-14; James 2:21-24 What steps must a person take to accept God's invitation and then be chosen by him to become one of his faithful followers?</span> Repent & be baptized. Ask for forgiveness of your sins. Believe & trust Jesus for eternal life. Faith & ACTION. If we do these things, He sill place His seal (Holy Spirit) on us. <span style="color: rgb(76, 38, 0);">Obedience.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7. Isaiah 55:6-7 What advice does God give the procrastinator? </span><span>Seek the Lord while He is near & may be found (i.e. don't wait until it's too late).</span><br /></blockquote><p>All I can say is, <span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">"Your will be done, Lord... not mine, but yours!"</span><img style="border: 0pt none ;" src="http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq111/acollins24/blog%20pics/TBlog-font96size4pinkburgandy.png" align="left" /><br /></p>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08453677628825103707noreply@blogger.com0