Friday, February 5, 2010

Waiting can be so hard to do =(

I think the title just about says it all. There are days that it's not so bad but there are days that it is unbearable. Those are the days that I have to lean on the Lord the most. This is the hardest trial I have ever dealt with but I can honestly say that the Lord is carrying me through it all. My strength ran out a long time ago. All the strength left is solely the Lord's strength & not mine. If you've never dealt with infertility I am so happy for you b/c I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It is a long road full of heartache & difficulties.

I will say though that it is this very struggle that drew me to the Lord to begin with so I am very thankful for that. But I'm here... I've finally broken down & accepted Him so can I get pregnant now, please? I know He has a plan & it's a plan to prosper us, not to harm us; to give us a hope & a future (Jeremiah 29:11) so I have to lean on Him & His promises but as you can see... some days are easier than others.

I just read a quote doing a Bible study recently that I love:
"Live every day to fulfill your personal mission. God has a reason for whatever season you are living through right now. A season of loss or blessing? A season of activity or hibernation? A season of growth or incubation? You may think you're on a detour, but God knows the best way for you to reach your destination."
~ Barbara Johnson
Wow! God knows what's He's doing & this is NOT a detour but has been & is all part of the plan. Okay, I know that I know *that* but I guess it's my humanness that gets in the way sometimes & I have to be reminded of it (sometimes I feel like I have to be reminded constantly... we humans are so weak, aren't we; at least I know I am).

And last but not least, this song has actually been coming on the radio a lot lately & has fast become a favorite of mine:

Thank you for listening. I do feel so much better when I can just let it out. :)

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