Friday, February 12, 2010

Talking about infertility misconceptions

I have often heard of those who believe that fertility treatments (specifically IVF) are "playing God." I have honestly NEVER understood this myself since IVF treatments fail, ya know. Only God can ultimately allow IVF to work or not.
As a noted theologian has pointed out, unless scientists start commanding matter to emerge from nothingness, we're in no danger of anyone "playing God" anytime soon, at least in the creative sense.
(The Infertility Companion, pg 164)

So there you have it... we're not "playing God" by seeking medical help, even IVF. All we are trying to do is to use medicine to help us get where we can't get ourselves without help. It really is no different than someone who has cancer, seeking chemo or someone who breaks a bone, getting a cast. We are simply using medicine b/c obviously something is broken or else we could get pregnant like the rest of the population.

And the 2nd misconception goes out to my sisters in infertility:
Sometimes, despite the fact that they've hated pregnancy announcements for so long, infertile couples who finally conceive expect their infertile friends to be overjoyed for them. After all, their infertile friends know exactly what the couple has been through up to that point! Yet expecting these friends to rejoice––at least initially––may be asking too much. Not only may the news be a grief trigger, but it may also evoke a sense of abandonment. So no matter how much a pregnant patient wants her infertility buddies to scream & hug her when she has good news, she still needs to consider writing notes to these friends. That allows them to endure the initial shock in private & then to offer congratulations when they're ready.
(The Infertility Companion, pg 235)

I'm not sure that I would have thought about this before reading it but I do second it whole-heartedly. I remember when a good friend got pregnant who really deserves it but she got pregnant before I did & at first all I could think of was how happy I was for her but also how sad I was for me. She finally got the thing that I so desperately want.

I actually just finished the book, The Infertility Companion, & LOVED it. I highly recommend it to anyone suffering through infertility.

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