Saturday, March 26, 2011

The wait is over!

AF is here (after being 5 days late no less )! I was hoping that maybe *she* would stay away but alas! So we *should* be going back to the RE for stronger meds (Follistim + Menopur + Ganirelix) but I do have an announcement...

Meds are over... I'm done with trying to conceive with medical assistance (& it feels soooooooooo good )! After the lap, you just can't tell me that I can't get pregnant. I can & I will if it's the Lord's will. AND the biggest announcement: I really feel like the Lord is calling us to adopt. Hubby isn't quite on the same page as me but I KNOW that if this is truly the Lord's will (as I believe it is) He will speak to Mike & bring Mike on board as well so I'm not toooooooo worried! I'll admit, I wish I could say that we were moving forward with adoption but right now we are in the "considering" stage.

We've actually already met with an agency... we attended an "information meeting" but I didn't really get the information I wanted from the meeting so I'm going to schedule an individual appointment with them & talk one on one. I did like them over all (though I knew I would), mostly because they are Christ-centered & this particular agency does offer at least one definite advantage over others... you don't lose your money if one adoption falls through, you can just transfer it to another adoption program within the organization. As they explained it, it's a ministry & they want to place children in loving, Christian homes.

If you're interested, below is the story of just how the Lord spoke to me & started changing my heart, opening it to adoption (& I do have to add that this is an AWESOME story, in my opinion anyway )...

Tuesday (Jan 18th) night, a friend on Facebook shared a video made by this girl who was adopted. It really moved me (& I even got teary-eyed) & I noticed in particular the verse she shared at the end of the video...

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."
~ John 14:18
So then Wednesday morning during Austin's Science class (we homeschool) we often read scriptures with our Science book. One particular scripture really jumped out at me...
"Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies."
~ Romans 8:23
It was funny b/c in the back of my mind I thought, "Hmmmm... I wonder if I'll hear another 'adoption' scripture tomorrow." But again, I just kinda passed it off & went on about my day not thinking about it again.

THEN Thursday, again during Science class, we were trucking along (almost at the end of class) & all of a sudden I thought, "Hey, I haven't heard another 'adoption scripture' yet." The VERY next verse Austin read in science was...
"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight."
~ Ephesians 1:4
And this scripture really jumped out at me. And it, I felt, was my "adoption" scripture (even though as you'll notice adoption isn't mentioned outright).

Anyway, so I wanted to mark these in my Bible & when I get to Ephesians guess what Ephesians 1:5 goes on to say...
"In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will."
At this point I KNEW... we're NOT getting pregnant (we were in our 1st month of trying to conceive naturally since the lap when all this happened) & notice, even 5 days late last cycle, we're still not pregnant. Why? I believe in every fiber of my being that God wants us to adopt.

I actually then called one of my best friends & she confessed to me that she had been having a sort of adoption feeling for me since BEFORE Christmas but she never said anything b/c she felt like that was my decision & was between me & God but when I broached the subject with her Thursday (Jan 20th), that's when she confessed. Specifically she said that anytime she sees adoption posters or advertisement, I just come to mind & she really believes it is the Holy Spirit speaking to her.

I, of course, would LOVE any child... biological or not but I'm going to confess here... adoption has always scared me. Mostly the money. I KNOW if God is in this, He will provide so I try not to think about it & lean on Him, having faith.

Anyway, so I've been thinking A LOT about adoption lately. Like, what kind of adoption does God want us to do? Embryo adoption (like I had wrote about several months ago... At the crossroads), traditional baby adoption (domestic or international), or traditional older child adoption (from foster care). I have always kinda felt pulled toward an older child (since I know a lot of people want babies, leaving the older children in the system who want nothing more than someone to love them) but God is softening my heart toward domestic adoption (I just can't give up the idea of having a baby right now... I do want to adopt an older child but in the future since I really feel like time is running out for a baby (I'm not getting any younger over here )) so right now I feel a pull toward domestic or embryo adoption, but which?

I'll definitely keep you posted but it could get quite around here for a little while, until there is something to update.

So, I'm going to leave you with 2 scriptures that really speak to me right now...
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
~Exodus 14:14

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."
~1 Corinthians 2:9
Thank you, Jesus!


  1. The Lord is always good to give wisdom to those who ask :)

    Praying for you as you embark on this journey!!!

  2. Thanks Melissa! =) I am doing quite a lot of that lately, praying for guidance & wisdom!

  3. Praying for you as well! So exciting!